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Christmas Is Pain Lyrics by Roy Zimmerman

Peacenick

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There’s a turkey a-gobblin’ out in the yard
Now he’s gutted and stuffed and he's basted and charred
And your father is whistling and washing the blood down the drain
Christmas is pain
There’s a crowd on the hillside with hatchets and saws
And a keen disregard for the forestry laws
And they happily hum while the stumps slowly bleed in the rain
Christmas is pain
And the stockings are hung by the chimney with care
As if anyone in their right mind would hang 'em there
And some tired old crooner is croaking our carols again
Christmas is pain
And you wait for an hour to see Santa Claus
And he’s covered in velveteen, bourbon, and gauze
And he pinches your mother and she can’t find the words to explain
Christmas is pain
And the hungry are hungering on Hunger Street
While the people on Plenty Street—eat
And you punctured the roof of your mouth on a sharp candy cane
Christmas is pain
And all the good cheer is just Madison Ave-news
And all the best Christmas songs were written by Jews
And the eight tiny reindeer have left an embarrassing stain
Christmas is pain
And two thirds of the world doesn’t give half a damn
And the rest are all bloated on marshmallowed yams
And if Jesus was here he’d be sent to the back of the train
Christmas is pain
And they double the price of whatever you need
Saying, “I pledge allegiance to corporate greed”
And you’re forced to spend several hours conversing with your old Aunt Lorraine
Who’s insane
With a brain on a plane to Spain where the rain stays mainly in the flat terrain
Christmas is pain
Credits
Roy Zimmerman

Roy Zimmerman

About “Christmas Is Pain” by Roy Zimmerman

Read the complete lyrics to "Christmas Is Pain" by Roy Zimmerman from the album "Peacenick". On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Pop.

"Christmas Is Pain" is performed by Roy Zimmerman. from the album "Peacenick" This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "Christmas Is Pain", explore more songs by Roy Zimmerman using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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Frequently asked questions

"Christmas Is Pain" is credited to Roy Zimmerman. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"Christmas Is Pain" appears on "Peacenick".

Visit the Roy Zimmerman artist page at /artist/roy-zimmerman for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.