Hello?
Hey, you still selling that trailer?
Yeah, we're still selling the trailer
Oh alright, how much you want for that?
Um, I'm not really sure
Oh man, what do you, what do you, what do you know about the specs?
What do you mean by specs?
Well, like the size of it
Um
Cetera
Oh crap, I don't have the paperwork with me
I know it's a 1972, it's got running water, heat
So yeah, what I'm thinking is, y'know I got my, you got my dog, it's my best friend Little Ted
Okay
Stick Little Ted in there
Y'know, we drive around, he looks out the window
Oh, okay
Yeah
Yeah, I, I think we're looking for somewhere around five-hundred
Oh, five-hundred!
Yep
Oh, that's a good price
Yeah, Little Ted, y'know, Little Ted's st— I can hear him barking over here, he's starting to get pissed
Uh—
Ah, oh man, look—
Uh, you could stop by, I know we'll be up there tomorrow afternoon
Hey, can I bring Little Ted?
Yeah, sure! Hey, that's fine
Yeah, Little Ted has a lot of demands
Hey, yeah, let him check it out
Yeah, he like, you know, he likes a lot of space, uh
Uh, there's plenty in there
He likes, y'know the weird thing about Little Ted is, he likes human women
Well, who don't?
*Laughing*
Oh man, I know I do, or I don't
Yeah, I like men, but Little Ted, oh man
I put up, y'know I put up a calendar of these women, you know, these nudes
Yeah
Oh man, Little Ted, y'know little— that weird little pink thing comes out of his penis, y'know, it goes straight up in the fuckin' air, y'know?
Oh, yeah
It's weird! You know?
Yeah
Yeah, then he starts like, humping my leg, I'm like, "What is this pink thing, Little Ted? Y'know, coming out of the hole of your penis, it's so weird, y'know?"
Oh, yeah. Yeah, I, I know what you're talking about
Yeah, it's disgusting, y'know?
Oh, yeah
Oh man, I wish I had that extra length though, y'know?
Coming right outta my hole, yeah
Yeah, no kidding
Oh man, I just, oh man, the le— y'know, I'd love to satisfy the ladies, y'know give 'em an extra three inches or so, y'know?
Hm, yeah
Yeah
Oh man, so Little Ted's penis, it's a weird thing, y'know?
Yeah *Laughing*
Yeah, I believe you
Oh man, it is so weird
Oh, Little Ted, oh, he's a horny son of a gun, you know what I mean?
Oh yeah, we all are
Yeah, oh man, you too!
Oh, yeah, yeah, you know it. You, you, once you, once you start, you can't stop
Oh, I know exactly what you mean, man. I was watching, oh man, I was watching, uh, Showtime, and then I see those big titties flopping around
I can't, y'know, I can't stop, I st— y'know I started like, y'know, I'm like jacking it off! I'm watching these, these big old titties flopping around
Yeah, it's just weird, y'know?
Oh yeah, I know
Oh, yeah, Little Ted is the same way, y'know?
Little Ted can't get enough of this stuff, y'know?
*Laughing*
Yeah he loves the, y'know he loves those big udders, y'know?
Oh, yeah
He's a dog! Y'know he ain't even human!
Hey, it's alright
Yeah, that's what I try to tell him
He gets all depressed about it though, yeah
Yeah
Yeah I think he, y'know I think, I think he thinks he's weird 'cause he's not into dog titties
Oh, yeah
Yeah?
Oh, Little Ted though, I love him. I love him to death
Oh yeah, yeah, dogs, dogs are the best
Oh yeah, I couldn't live without him, y'know, I sho— yeah, I even shower with him sometimes, yeah?
Oh, yeah
Oh, I love that dog. I love that fuckin' dog, yeah?
Oh man, so yeah
So yeah, I'd love to take Little Ted over, we'd get, you know, we'd get in the trailer, uh, you know, let him run around a little bit, you know. Maybe we, I don't know, I don't know against us maybe, like masturbating in the trailer
Ah, I don't know about that
You think that might be a little much?
Yeah, could be
Yeah, maybe, alright
Well y— y'know, I don't know, look, I may or may not have my dick out right now, stroking it while I'm on the phone
I don't know
*Laughing*
Y'know what I mean?
It's a Friday night! Oh!
Well...
Oh, Ribfest tomorrow, y'know?
Yep
Oh! Oh! Yeah?
I'll tell you, I'll tell you like give, give the parents a call here tomorrow around, uh, nine o'clock in the morning. They'll let you know what to do
Okay, and then I can bring Little Ted down and we can may— you know, we can maybe fool around in the trailer?
Hey man, it's whatever. Ju-just ask first
Here's the thing I didn't tell you:
Little, Little Ted's a female
Oh, okay
I was lying about that, I, you know, look, there are not a lot of people I can talk to, I have sex with my dog
Oof
If we could do that in the trailer
I don't know about all that
Do you— well, maybe
'Cause that, that sounds like a maybe
Uh, that, that's a no from me, but you want, you want to talk to my mom and dad
But a maybe, maybe from the mom and dad
Yeah, yeah
Yeah, so they're more open to me having sex with my dog in the trailer?
Yeah, yeah, I don't know
Oh man, my dog's fucking pussy lips, they're like, they're disgusting
Oh man, but I'm probably telling you too much
A little bit! I'm about to go to bed, and I'm gonna have nightmares now
Oh man, I'm about to go to bed too, oh man. It's been a crazy day
Well, give us a call tomorrow, we'll talk to you then
Yeah. Oh man, how 'bout those Pirates?
I don't even watch 'em
Oh, you don't watch them! Man, they're having a killer season
Nah, if it ain't football it ain't a sport
Oh, you *Laughing*
I agree with that, man it's fu— Steelers!
That's right
Steelers!
Steel curtain!
Yup
Ya!
Oh man, those fuckin', oh man, all those other fuckin' teams, they can all go to hell
Oh, yeah
I wipe my ass with those teams
Oh, damn right
Yeah, alright man, who's the—
Who's, who's, what's the, what's, what's your name, who, who's calling?
Oh, this is Dave Davids
Dave Davids?
Yeah
Alright, I'll let them know you called
Oh man, what's the team you hate the most?
Uh, that would have to be New England
Oh, I hate New England too!
They got a raunchy coach, don't they?
Oh, yeah
Oh man, that guy, I heard that guy swearin' on television
Oh yeah, they don't give a shit
Oh yeah, I was like, Mike, you know, I was like, if I had kids I wouldn't want them hearing this shit, you know, all this swearing on TV, yeah?
Yeah
It's like they got no morals, yeah?
Oh, I know
Oh, man
Well man, I'm hopping off, so we'll, we'll, we'll talk to you tomorrow
Yeah, I guess we'll talk to you tomorrow, I uh, y'know, I love you, and uh, talk to you tomorrow
Alright mate, sounds good
Alright, peace
Alright, seeya
