[Intro]
SNAKEBITE RAP BATTLES!
LIGHT YAGAMI
VS
ARTEMIS FOWL
BEGIN!
[Verse 1: Light Yagami]
Artemis Fowl: the criminal renowned all throughout history
And here I am, having to babysit his Mini-Me
In your father's shadow, but it seems you've gotten lots from him
For if you think me to be Kira, you've both gone out on a limb
[Verse 2: Artemis Fowl]
Just drop the facade, Yagami. Stop with the false psychology
Don't need Shinigami Eyes to see through your farce properly
From Spiro to Extinctionism, I know all about faux religions
Of false prophets with bleak world visions, so show me the pen game those flows were missing
[Verse 3: Light Yagami]
If that's your wish, then alright, but you'll find I'm no fairy type
If you think I'll be remorseful, Young Sheldon, let me shed some Light
Call mе Butler as I serve ya; packing ink splotchеs that'll murder
Get you unnerved like a girl would; make your beat stop like I'm Minerva
I've got that Death Note supply, but even with all of the pages
There's no way it'd fit all the mental disorders you're plagued with
You kidnapped an elf detective; Oh, but now her heart's grown?
How romantic, you turned Ms. Sherlock Holmes into Stockholm's
Oh, but like Commander Root, you blew it when you left her extorted
Any magic sparks that you and Holly shared were Short-lived
[Verse 4: Artemis Fowl]
You're one to talk extortion with the path that your girl was led
You toyed with her head until you drove her over the edge
You'd never have been of note, but then that book turned you violent
What a fateful twist of irony that Light's become blinded
So add this to your list of failures
This'll be your worst L since Lind Taylor
Your boasting is trite, so just shut it and listen
Your flows are so shite even Mulch wouldn't Diggum
You think your scheme is cleaning up Tokyo?
You're the creepiest Kira since JoJo
Magic world ambassador, calm and handsome
I'm taking this gold like a hostage ransom
Your loud banter's no match for this sound planner
Who spits in such a foul manner that I live in Fowl Manor
I'm novel, you're comical, but you're sure one to talk age
When I've stayed a best-seller years before this Scribblenauts goth phase
[Verse 5: Light Yagami]
Oh, is someone insecure about their age? Well, child, best sit right down
All your plans have been a wash since the LEP blue-rinsed your house
And with your magic beasts and split identity
You're just DnD but with DID
And you cower so much it's like your last name's Fowl
Cause all you do is chicken out
[Verse 6: Artemis Fowl]
Such a simpleton, your ego's the only time that you're complex
So call me your father; you're killing me with your incompetence
And your sister's in a wheelchair from the shock you put her through
But your Netflix special's so grim even she walked out of the room
[Verse 7: Light Yagami]
*maniacal laughter*
You think climate change machines are enough to save the earth?
It'll take less than forty seconds just to kill you with this verse
You wish to chatter about movie remakes? A similar problem that we faced
But Opal pushed your entire world to the Stone Age just so they could leave your film erased
Yagami's God, so get down on your knees and start to plead before you are deceased
If I wanted this book to put you to sleep instantly, I would have just written your whole octology
[Verse 8: Artemis Fowl and Light Yagami]
Light, you're unspeakably vile
Think I wouldn't kill scum cause it took the form of a child?
Far from it, actually. Hmm? I knew you would, so
I read up on your weaknesses and let's just say I took notes
Like Yellow Box, your end is Near; you aren't hard to defeat
Salty the Task Force canned you? I suppose you are what you eat
You operated in the shadows, but got cocky in the final battle
Then Ryuk showed you poetic justice. How do you like them apples?
I've sent this false god to the stars, for now your run is through
Because my name is Artemis, and I hunted you
[Outro]
WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
SNAKEBITE *starts bursting into maniacal laughter* RAP BATTLES!
