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P’oer Edgar Lyrics by The Prophet Obblonge

Hostile Witness

2023

A hardcover compendium of the complete works of Edgar Allan Poe appeared in a hallway close
To me, so I picked it up
It's a cheaply printed one, something that was probably
Available from a book club and not commercially at the Walden Books or the B. Dalton bookseller
The pages are yellowed and stiff
The jacket doesn't stay attached when opened
Someone's relative for cheap or free drew the cover illustration, using a vaguе memory of
When they wеre in elementary school
His works, like my favorites, Lovecraft, are in the public domain
So the publisher saved cost of paying the author
But there is a remarkable trait included
A bonus surprise, unintentional
The ill-fitting inside back cover flap indeed contains the prerequisite editor and author bio blurbs
Editor man saw fit to proclaim himself an outstanding Poe scholar and author
I know this brand of hubris isn't isolated to this subsection of artists
But fuckin' writers, man.
Equally as annoying and repulsive as the ones who use the term
Hubris to describe something made clearer with different words
Poor Edgar gets the opposite, without relating it verbatim, this summary
Orphaned at two
Fucked around at colleges and owed loan sharks who break legs
Married his 13-year-old cousin
She died
Then he died two years later
The end
It is blackness on feathered ebon wings
Obblonge's page informs me that this is his 500th deviation
Technically, a few of them are duplicates due to spotty interweb connections
And poor management skills
But Obblonge doesn't admit that unless he's pressed into a verbal corner
He hasn't had need of currency for an indeterminate amount of days
What time is it was always the last question on his list
Right before what time was it
$4 USD hasn't been coughed up and the geeky aggregated stats are blurry
He can, however, smartly avert that he hath achieved a milestone of sorts
Over 1 million reads
It says views on the screen, but I see reads
In less than a year
July 4th of last year was when I began pouring all these subjects and predicates tap-tap-tapped
Into my phone out on DeviantArt, hijacking passersby's hotspots
He tells himself that would look cool on a handwritten resume, whatever those things are
That author's bio is a masterwork unto itself, fitting that two renowned writers meet at some point
Poetic
To have a person's entire life summed up with such... the words, they escape me
And I'm a professional or something
What would your back cover biography blather on about
Are you your job
A collection of a few embossed papers
Who you have sex with
Does where your parents got laid define you
The Prophet Obblonge is asking you personally, which is to say, as a person
But he isn't expecting a reply
He is manipulating you
Burrowing his commands
Interrupting the soliloquy already in progress
He repeats, what are you
Credits
The Prophet Obblonge

The Prophet Obblonge

About “P’oer Edgar” by The Prophet Obblonge

Read the complete lyrics to "P’oer Edgar" by The Prophet Obblonge from the album "Hostile Witness" in 2023. On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Non-Music, Philosophy, Essay.

"P’oer Edgar" is performed by The Prophet Obblonge. from the album "Hostile Witness" in 2023 This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "P’oer Edgar", explore more songs by The Prophet Obblonge using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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Frequently asked questions

"P’oer Edgar" is credited to The Prophet Obblonge. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"P’oer Edgar" appears on "Hostile Witness" in 2023.

Visit the The Prophet Obblonge artist page at /artist/the-prophet-obblonge for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.