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Sexist Security Lyrics by The Prophet Obblonge

Hostile Witness

2023

So, check this out
I die and wind up with my eyebrow cocked, facing St. Peter at the gates of heaven
He's like, what the fuck are you doing here
I search my rumpled ghost clothes and come up with my antique silver cigarette case
I guess cause it's silver, werewolves and shit
And what do you know, it's full
Wasn't that way when I died, bonus
I don't know man, it's your fucking gig
My trusty Cthulhu Zippo has not made the trip, graven image of another god
Right, bad call on my part
St. Peter
Alright, so why should I let you through these gates
Inspiration strikes
I form the familiar rubber band pistol with my thumb and forefinger
Firing the handgun, a flame appears at the top of my index
I light my smoke
It tastes heavenly, as it should
Then I realize my somewhat transparent fingertip is on St. Elmo's fire
I shake it like you shouldn't do to a polaroid picture, and it luckily sputters out
Not the time to act goofy and lose face, right
Exhaling the exhilarating vaporistics through my now glass-like nostrils, I intone
I totally banged all four sisters next door
St. Peter stands aside dramatically, a fucking angelic matador gesturing to his side and
Beyond
My man
Don't let this scenario become a reality, Patty
Please
Let the third sister be the last anything I ever have sex with
Credits
The Prophet Obblonge

The Prophet Obblonge

About “Sexist Security” by The Prophet Obblonge

Read the complete lyrics to "Sexist Security" by The Prophet Obblonge from the album "Hostile Witness" in 2023. On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Essay, Spoken Word, Comedy.

"Sexist Security" is performed by The Prophet Obblonge. from the album "Hostile Witness" in 2023 This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "Sexist Security", explore more songs by The Prophet Obblonge using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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Frequently asked questions

"Sexist Security" is credited to The Prophet Obblonge. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"Sexist Security" appears on "Hostile Witness" in 2023.

Visit the The Prophet Obblonge artist page at /artist/the-prophet-obblonge for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.