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Texas Annie Lyrics by The Wet Spots

Hello Kinky

0

Well, Texas Annie had a big fat fanny, and she drove a black sedan
She had Ben Wa Balls in her overalls and a trunk full of contraband
And when the fog was thick, she'd pack her dicks, and sneak across the county line
'Cause in Texas, any tool for masturbation is a crime
Hard-livin' and promiscuous, she kinda liked the risk
She was a liquor-drinkin' dildo-runnin' rascal
With an electronic phallus for each housewife up in Dallas
An' a probe for every asshole in El Paso
Cos you can't buy a dildo in Texas
We don't touch ourselves down there round here, ya' hear?
And it says so in the Bible that a vibe'll leave you liable
For a prison term of twenty-seven years
Well, she'd rent a room in a cheap saloon and start sellin' all her wares
She'd be drinkin' whisky and gettin' frisky, conductin' her affairs
And by the end of the night, she'd be good and tight, with a girl on either side
And she'd grab her saddle and a ping-pong paddle and she'd take them for a ride
Till the good ol' boys got their good ol' balls all tied up in a sling
And the governor said "I'll have her head, that butch is gonna swing,"
The boys felt replaced and they felt disgraced and they chased her hard and long
There's no debate in the Lone Star State about who should wear the dong
Cos you can't buy a dildo in Texas
We don't touch ourselves down there round here, ya' hear?
And it says so in the Bible that a vibe'll leave you liable
To be tried before a jury of your queers. I mean, peers
Right, definitely peers
Annie in the bedroom picking out toys
Annie been caught by the governor's boys
Annie gonna get the electric chair
A thousand volts in the derriere
(spoken)Wooo-hooo! (laugh) Do it again, muthafucka, come on!
So they strapped her in and the governor grinned, "I guess you've had your fun
Shoulda made your money as a playboy bunny or by selling people guns
So goodnight Texas Annie - I hope you burn in hell,"
She said "I'll see you there, you sonofabitch, and I'll see your wife as well!"
So he flipped the switch, she began to twitch and vibrate all around
Smoke filled the room, there was a thunderous boom and a high pitched buzzing sound
And as the air cleared, she'd disappeared, and a hundred eyes grew wide
The men were stiff with horror, but their wives looked satisfied
Cos you can't buy a dildo in Texas
So here's your chance to stick it to the man
Take every opportunity to whack off with impunity
Go fuck yourselves as often as you can
Credits
The Wet Spots

The Wet Spots

About “Texas Annie” by The Wet Spots

Read the complete lyrics to "Texas Annie" by The Wet Spots from the album "Hello Kinky". On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Pop.

"Texas Annie" is performed by The Wet Spots. from the album "Hello Kinky" This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "Texas Annie", explore more songs by The Wet Spots using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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Frequently asked questions

"Texas Annie" is credited to The Wet Spots. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"Texas Annie" appears on "Hello Kinky".

Visit the The Wet Spots artist page at /artist/the-wet-spots for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.