Yeah bitch, its me!
The divine suprise, the big J.C
Rockin' Versace IDGAF shades
Jesus, for chrisakes
My mystique is, Keanu Reeves-ish
Now I think i'll blaze
Til im toasted as my face
Ridin by L.A.'s best dispensaries
Driving down sunset with a jay of heaven's weed
Crucified inbetween A.D. and B.C.,
Resurected on the Fourth day, went away
Returned yesterday afternoon
Check the date - April's fools
So when I said I was Jesus no one believed it
Too much of a stoner slacker
So just postpone the rapture, it's time to first part-tay
Cruising Hollywood boulevard
Looking for the world's foremost pusss-ayy
Biblical Pootay-tang, aftertaste punani twang
After me, Gigi Hadid, DeLeveigne and Beyonce bang!
Goin' down on those celebrities 'til
They're moaning like coyotes over Beverly hills
The Mesopotamian Demigod of sexpots, so once
You feel ecstasy's thrill just name check me and chill!
Then step outside to make sure my phone works
And drop them stars
For my one down to earth homegirl
I met on the bar strip
Kickin' miracles as bar tricks
Made her heart skip a beat
Then scoffed "what else you got for me?"
Baby you think turnin club soda to Merlot is crazy?
I can bless the blind with new eyes to see
I can die for your sins
Inspire your most saintly deed
I can bring on the rapture
Or bestow the world with peace
Baby I can walk on water and not even get wrinkled feet!
But TBH you're a boss...
Haven't been nailed that hard since The Cross...
Lets go rent a low-rent loft
Where the traffic gets most clogged
With an old cot long as i'm in your arms
And just when were snuggled up 'bout to doze off
The doorbell goes off
For hell's sake, it's 4 a.m. why don't they first knock?
But twas' the angel Gabriel with a burnt blunt
Sayin' "Let's go posthaste
Tell her just a fortday
Because Father wants a word, son
Well, we may be chilling in the city of angels but hun
I hail from the real kingdom of Elysium
Where infinite suns orbit skyscrapers above
In perfect circles that ripple eternal
In a celestial whirlpool of such crazy beauty
Its ain't painted truly by any biblical mural!
So I said fare thee well with tears held back
And said I'll be home 'fore you can say fare thee well back!
And at that we left it
As I piggybacked on angel's wings and
And traveled with Gabriel in ascendance
Then hopped off to do a sick 360 triple flip on my skateboard
Up the railway of Zeppelin's stairway to heaven!
HI-5 Saint Peter tallying every man's sin and mitzvah
Gatekeeper of that famous pearly gate entrance
Open for the chosen son! Yeah, THE chosen one
Golden boy of the Silver City, husband to every lonely nun...
Who knelt himself down on the holiest mound of sacred ground
Ever found up on the Temple Mount
And bowed himself proud
Before that 4-sided geometrical grammar god
The Tetragrammaton
And so it spoke, "Hello my son, welcome home"
Father, might be the prodigal son but met the proverbial "one"
And there's nothing between here and earth that could come
Between me and the one woman I love
So Yahweh was like "yeah no way, Hazeus"
So I went,"yo hey, Zeus! Hashem, Eloheim, the big H-E, god, POP!
Going back to LA is something even you cannot stop
I'm going back to the sweet embrace of my love
Plus my lease isn't up for like another 9 months
"No you aren't...... my son"
His voice tightened right up
And in deep concern I looked at him like "what?"
"Once you left heaven
The one below fled hell
Seraphim rang bells, cherubs threw fits
But by when you returned heavensent
He paid a visit to your loft
And your lady friend answered him
Yet she resisted, but when faced with Sin
He offered temptation, and she gave in
So I guess the only thing to say, kid
Is welcome home cuz like Persephone of old
She's now down there with him."
