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Connie Watson Lyrics by Trevor Moore

High In Church

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Connie Watson
Is my mom's best friend
She's sixty-two
And loves Land's End
Her hair is short
And always looks wet
She works reception
For the local vet
And every time I'm home she tells me stories all day long
She says her life is crazy and I should put her in a song
Connie, Connie, Connie Watson, here you go
This is a song for you
Full of your crazy tales and anecdotes
She swears all this is true!
One time Connie
Went to TGI Friday's
With a bunch of ladies
From church!
They thought the waiter was cute
Because he looked like a young Matt Lauer
And when he came over
His name tag said "Matt"
Connie, Connie, Connie Watson
Frumpy lady, a mystery and such
The craziest things just seem to happen to her
You can't make this stuff up
A guy at Kroger
Once thought that Connie was his wife
But when she turned around
He was wrong
But I can't do it justice
I must not be telling the story right
Because when Connie does
It's forty-five minutes long
Connie, Connie, Connie Watson
How do you like your stupid song?
Is it everything that you thought that it would be?
Everybody sing along!
Connie, I think you might have a non-verbal learning disorder
Because you clearly have trouble interpreting people's social cues
Connie, if someone hasn't responded for 20 minutes
And they won't look up from their phones
That means they don't want to talk to you
(Spoken)
Everybody now!
Connie, I think you might have a non-verbal learning disorder
Because you clearly have trouble interpreting people's social cues
Connie, if someone hasn't responded for 20 minutes
And they won't look up from their phone
That means they don't want to talk to you
Connie where you at tonight?
Are you at Panera Bread?
Connie where you at tonight?
Are you at Panera Bread?
She's got a sweatshirt
Of cats unrolling a roll of toilet paper
In the bathroom
And it says "Let the good times roll."
She's got a sweatshirt
Of cats unrolling a roll of toilet paper
In the bathroom
And it says "Let the good times roll."
She's got a sweatshirt
Of cats unrolling a roll of toilet paper
In the bathroom
And it says "Let the good times roll."
Credits
Trevor Moore

Trevor Moore

About “Connie Watson” by Trevor Moore

Read the complete lyrics to "Connie Watson" by Trevor Moore from the album "High In Church". On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Rap.

"Connie Watson" is performed by Trevor Moore. from the album "High In Church" This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "Connie Watson", explore more songs by Trevor Moore using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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Frequently asked questions

"Connie Watson" is credited to Trevor Moore. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"Connie Watson" appears on "High In Church".

Visit the Trevor Moore artist page at /artist/trevor-moore for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.