[Intro]
RD:
Everypony always asks: what does Rainbow Dash get up to after that Wonderbolts practice session?
Well, she goes to exercise at Big Fire's gym in Cloudsdale. It's a three day upper/lower/wings split, six days a week
And they always say, Rainbow, you can't be serious!
Doing a workout on top of one of the most rigorous practice routines known to ponykind? You're a psychopath
Well, I prefer the term "psycho fast”
[Verse 1]
'Cause that's what I intend to be
The demon who's speedin', but also benchin' three for reps at least
The magical-radical-can't-catch-it so fast, but she can
Lateral raise up a plate and play it with intensity
Just let me get my bag, for sweatin' got my
Rag, my pre-workout is a-verage, kinda tastes like
Trash… because I know what trash tastes like
(To reduce, reuse your refuse)
Hey! And don't forget to bring a drink…
'cause in the heat of it, she just don't need to dehydrate
Or you'll be drier with muscles on fire than that pony
Twi when she's deprived of sleep and fiendin' for that sweet caffeine
I'm here to get more strong, but something's kinda wrong (Party down in the gym…)
Why do I hear a song? It's messing up my calm
I'm making out the sound, it's getting kinda loud
I'm stepping in the door, what the fuck?
[Bridge]
It's like the bottom of a rock from Froggy Bottom Bogg
Wall to wall, a conga string of fitness mockery
The oddities opposite offering my ocular orb
Unignorable deplorable, exploring up the world of
What a workout ought to be
Then it hit me, a gimme
I felt a little dizzy
You need to be aware, me
In the month of January
When these mares are dreamin' of cleaning
The plates get to ringings
And Pinkie's in the corner singing
[Chorus]
(Party down in the gym!) Working hard and working on a whim!
(Now's the time to make a change!)
(Party down in the gym!) Put your towels into the bin!
(Working out a little strange!)
(Party down in the gym!) Even if your form is kinda grim…
(If you don't know where to begin…)
(Party down in the gym!) Forget your six pack, you're packed in a tin!
(Come on down, you'll fit right in!)
(Gonna fit right i-)
[Verse 2]
The machines are packed, the weight racks amassed a
Batch of cats just havin' battles, that's so wack…
I try not to acknowledge her as she
Balance acts on stacks of platters at the back
Now I'm repping calisthenics
‘Cause these menaces can't even let us bench for just a little bit
I'm not trying to discredit it if you meant it and you've
Checked in and sweatin', not messin', get athletic benefit
But the back of my brain is telling me
Least half these gains are temporary in January
Next month after this pain, let's wager, G
Just at where, say, you'd think these mares will be?
Take a check at her form, and we can see
The risk to horn for injury over hypertrophy
The purple unicorn, wait a minute…
RD: You're not a pegasus
TS: Oh! Hi, Rainbow!
RD: What are you doing here?
TS: What does it look like I'm doing?
RD: No, not that. I mean, what are you doing all the way up here in Cloudsdale?
TS: Well, there's a 90% off New Year's discount. Figured now's as good a time as any to work on my fitness
RD: So you just cast a cloudwalking spell and came up here by yourself
TS: Well, not just myself… do I not get to bring friends?
[Chorus]
(Party down in the gym!) Working hard and working on a whim!
(Now's the time to make a change!)
(Party down in the gym!) Put your towels into the bin!
(Working out a little strange!)
(Party down in the gym!) Even if your form is kinda grim…
(If you don't know where to begin…)
(Party down in the gym!) Forget your six pack, you're packed in a tin!
(Come on down, you'll fit right in!)
TS: Are you seriously going to tell me that you didn't notice Pinkie Pie just standing over there
RD: Well, she's Pinkie Pie. I'm not going to ask a question like that when it comes to her
TS: Or, you know, any of the other Earth ponies or unicorns running around
RD: Well, normally, I would be trying to focus on my workout. But I guess thanks to that discount and you, things are getting a little crazy around here… And can you stop doing that?
TS: What?
RD: It's driving me nuts
TS: What? What am I not supposed to be doing?
RD: Stop using your magic at the bottom of every rep
TS: I need to use effort to use my magic too!
RD: Yeah, but then it's not a bench press! If you want to do bench presses, then don't use your magic!
TS: Oh, whatever… Why are you being such a pain about this?
[Reprise]
(Party down in the gym!) Working hard and working on a whim!
(Now's the time to make a change!)
(Party down in the gym!) Put your towels into the bin!
(Working out a little strange!)
(Party down in the gym!) Even if your form is kinda grim…
(If you don't know where to begin…)
(Party down in the gym!) Forget your six pack, you're packed in a tin!
(Come on down, you'll fit right in!)
PP: Timbale solo!
Come on, let me in it [?]
Hah, all right! Come on, now!
Heh, let me get [?]
Hoo!
[Bridge]
Stomp-those-hooves, if this gets you in the groove!
Down-in-the-gym, so it's time to show your moves!
Work-those-weights, like they owe something to you!
Pump-that-iron, like you've got nothing to lose!
[Outro]
(Party down in the gym! Ho!)
(If you don't know where to begin…)
(Party down in the gym!)
(Come on down, you'll fit right in!)
