Squeeze Box: The Complete Works of “Weird Al” Yankovic
1996
[Verse 1] As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain But that's just perfect for an Amish like me You know, I shun fancy things like electricity At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milkin' cows Jebediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool And I've been milkin' and plowin' so long that Even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine Then tonight we're gonna party like it's 1699 [Chorus] We been spending most our lives Living in an Amish paradise I've churned butter once or twice Living in an Amish paradise It's hard work and sacrifice Living in an Amish paradise We sell quilts at discount price Living in an Amish paradise [Verse 2] A local boy kicked me in the butt last week I just smiled at him and I turned the other cheek I really don't care, in fact I wish him well 'Cause I'll be laughing my head off when he's burning in Hell But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it An Amish with a 'tude? You know that's unheard of I never wear buttons but I got a cool hat And my homies agree, I really look good in black, fool If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare We're just technologically impaired [Pre-Chorus] There's no phone, no lights, no motorcar Not a single luxury Like Robinson Crusoe It's as primitive as can be [Chorus] We been spending most our lives Living in an Amish paradise We're just plain and simple guys Living in an Amish paradise There's no time for sin and vice Living in an Amish paradise We don't fight, we all play nice Living in an Amish paradise [Verse 3] Hitchin' up the buggy, churning lots of butter Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise another Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart? Well, I know I'm a million times as humble as thou art I'm the pious guy the little Amlettes wanna be like On my knees day and night scoring points for the afterlife So don't be vain and don't be whiny Or else, my brother, I might have to get medieval on your heinie [Chorus] We been spending most our lives Living in an Amish paradise We're all crazy Mennonites Living in an Amish paradise There's no cops and traffic lights Living in an Amish paradise But you'd probably think it bites Living in an Amish paradise [Outro] (Ooh, ooh, yech!)
Read the complete lyrics to "Amish Paradise" by “Weird Al” Yankovic from the album "Squeeze Box: The Complete Works of “Weird Al” Yankovic" in 1996. On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under In English, USA, Gangsta Rap.
"Amish Paradise" is performed by “Weird Al” Yankovic. from the album "Squeeze Box: The Complete Works of “Weird Al” Yankovic" in 1996 This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL.
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"Amish Paradise" is credited to “Weird Al” Yankovic. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.
"Amish Paradise" appears on "Squeeze Box: The Complete Works of “Weird Al” Yankovic" in 1996.
Visit the “Weird Al” Yankovic artist page at /artist/weird-al-yankovic for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.
