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Beautiful Penis Lyrics by Whitest Kids U’ Know

The Whitest Kids U’ Know

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[ZACH]
Hey guys, come here, look at this!
[SAM]
What's up?
[TIMMY]
What is it, dude?
[TIMMY, SAM, DARREN, AND TREVOR]
Ah!
[DARREN]
Dude!
[SAM]
C'mon!
[ZACH]
Yeah!
[SAM]
You got your dick hanging out!
[TIMMY]
Gross!
[ZACH]
No, no, no, no, check it out. I was looking at myself in the mirror today, and I realized I have got a beautiful penis.
[TIMMY]
Zach, that's not something you show your friends.
[TREVOR]
Yeah, dude. Not cool. Let's get out of here, guys. Zach's being gross.
[TIMMY]
Yeah. C'mon, Sam. Let's blow out of Squaresville.
*Pause*
[TREVOR]
Sam. C'mon. Sam. Sam! Are you staring at his wiener?
[SAM]
What? No I'm not!
[TIMMY]
Yeah, you were! You were staring at Zach's dick!
[SAM]
No, I wa- I was staring at something past his dick.
[TREVER]
No, you were staring right at his penis.
[SAM]
So-so what if I was? He's right. It's kinda nice.
[TREVER]
Oh my god.
[TIMMY]
Ugh, Squaresville!
[TREVOR]
Timmy, shut up.
[SAM]
Kinda looks like a big tube of cookie dough.
[ZACH]
Yeah!
[TREVOR]
Ugh!
[TIMMY]
Oh, god!
[TREVOR]
Well, he's kinda right. It does look like that. You know what it kinda looks like? It looks like the trunk of a majestic redwood.
[SAM]
Yeah, with veins!
[ZACH]
Yeah!
[TREVOR]
It kinda looks like a sleepy baby seal, all snuggled up in a sleeping bag.
[SAM]
Yeah, with veins! You know what it reminds me of?
[TREVOR AND ZACH]
Summertime.
[SAM AND ZACH]
Yeah!
[TIMMY]
Ugh, gross!
[ZACH]
Uh-huh! You know, I think looking at it is kind of like looking at your favorite song. Does that make sense?
[TREVOR]
No, I get that.
[SAM]
Yeah, yeah
[TIMMY]
Oh my god! Squaresville! Population: three!
[ZACH]
Do you guys wanna see my penis do a trick?
[TREVOR]
Of course!
[SAM]
Yeah we do!
[TIMMY]
Okay, okay. Leaving Squaresville city limits!
[TREVOR]
Timmy, stop saying that.
[ZACH]
Okay, watch this.
*Short slide whistle sound*
[SAM AND TREVOR]
Whoa!
[ZACH]
Yeah, I know, I know! Okay, for my next trick, I'm gonna need a volunteer.
[SAM]
Oh, oh!
[TREVOR]
Me me me me!
[SAM]
Pick me! Pick me!
[ZACH]
Uh, Sam!
[TREVOR]
Ah.
[SAM]
Yes!
[ZACH]
Okay, Sam, kneel down there.
[TIMMY]
Oh, guys!
[ZACH]
Okay, now put this up-
[SAM]
Okay-
[ZACH]
-like that.
[SAM]
Right there?
[ZACH]
Little higher.
[SAM]
Alright.
[ZACH]
And, tilt your head back like that. Okay, good, good.
*Long descending slide whistle sound*
[TREVOR]
Oh my god!
[TIMMY]
Oh, my god, guys! Ugh!
[ZACH]
Wait, wait for it, wait for it.
*Long ascending slide whistle sound*
*Ding*
[TREVOR]
Unbelievable!
[SAM]
Oh! I feel complete!
[TIMMY]
This is so square, you guys! Let's go!
[TREVOR]
Timmy!
[ZACH]
Look, look what else it does, guys. Check it out. I can make it smoke a joint.
[TREVOR]
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait a minute.
[SAM]
Your penis smokes weed?
[TREVOR]
Y'know, I'm starting to agree with Timmy, Sam. This is Squaresville.
[SAM]
C'mon, guys. We don't have to hang out with Ganja Dong over here.
[TREVOR]
That's right, kids! If you've smoked weed, then you've got a square penis. And another thing: if you've ever smoked weed, I hope you parents die.
Credits
Whitest Kids U’ Know

Whitest Kids U’ Know

About “Beautiful Penis” by Whitest Kids U’ Know

Read the complete lyrics to "Beautiful Penis" by Whitest Kids U’ Know from the album "The Whitest Kids U’ Know". On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Non-Music.

"Beautiful Penis" is performed by Whitest Kids U’ Know. from the album "The Whitest Kids U’ Know" This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "Beautiful Penis", explore more songs by Whitest Kids U’ Know using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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Frequently asked questions

"Beautiful Penis" is credited to Whitest Kids U’ Know. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"Beautiful Penis" appears on "The Whitest Kids U’ Know".

Visit the Whitest Kids U’ Know artist page at /artist/whitest-kids-u-know for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.