Laura: Hello and welcome to The Neurodivergent Teens Podcast.
(Music)
Hi everybody, welcome to episode 1 of The Neurodivergent Teens Podcast.
In today's episode, we are going to talk about understanding your diagnosis.
As always, I'm joined by the lovely Lila and the lovely Kirsty,
and they are going to be talking about their diagnosis
and what their diagnosis has meant to them.
So welcome Lila, welcome Kirsty.
Both: Hiya/hello!
Laura: Lovely to see you again.
So, Lila, first of all, what is your diagnosis, or what are your diagnoses?
Lila: So I was officially diagnosed as ADHD around November of 2022,
and I was working towards an autism diagnosis
had been for around three years, but that's likely fallen by the wayside.
Laura: Okay, and Kirsty, how about you?
Kirsty: I was diagnosed with ADHD, dyspraxia and dyslexia all at once.
It was quite a month.
Laura: That’s actually something that I want to talk about in this episode:
is about how, like, how it feels when you get your diagnosis.
Lila, how old were you when you were diagnosed?
Lila: Around 18.
Laura: And can I just ask as well, Lila you mentioned that
you were pursuing an autism diagnosis,
but you don’t feel at the moment that you need to continue to pursue that,
however you self-identify as autistic?
Lila: Uh yeah, I can associate myself with a lot of the autistic kind of traits,
and although there are some that I don’t fully relate to, looking back
at my past and my present, it's like yeah, yeah she’s autistic.
When I first start trying to get an autism diagnosis,
I got a letter that said it's it was a six-year waiting list from October 2019.
Laura: Wow.
Lila: So if I am still in the NHS system, I’ve got another year to go.
Laura: And I, I just think that also something that also, something that
we'll either pick up in this episode or in future episodes or
or something that might kind of be a recurring theme
through all our episodes is that actually I think it’s so important that
people understand that self identification is valid
and I think that if you are listening to this podcast and
you think you are autistic then self-identifying as autistic is 100% OK.
You know, I remember once someone saying you don’t have to
go for a diagnosis to be told what your sexuality is…
You just know what your sexuality is,
and think it should be the same, and I hope it is the same one day, with neurodiversity.
(Music)
Laura: Kirsty you received three diagnoses.
How did you feel when you got those diagnoses?
Kirsty: Um, I think it was a really weird time because it was
it happened very quickly. So I was flagged when I started university -
everyone had to do this, like screening thing
to try and see what support was needed student to student,
and mine got flagged, and I wasn’t massively surprised because
my spelling and my speech isn’t, isn't my strength,
so I was like yeah sure, whatever,
and then it just went through this process, and in about three weeks…
oh, you've got this, this and this, and I was like
whoa, whoa, hold up, slow down! it
It was a very very quick thing so for me it brought on a lot of emotions:
I would say first of all relief massively ’cuz
I'd been in and out of CAMHS and various
support and I'd never gotten an answer
and now I had an answer and label I had something that felt right.
Not many people like having that label but I wanted that label,
because I was in denial that maybe nothing is wrong,
maybe nothing is different but now I know
actually no, I am deserving of this support, I'm deserving of this extra help
because because of this and I'm not lying, I'm telling the truth so it was
relief um, but I think the first six months or so after diagnosis, I almost
went through like a grief of looking back at all of my school years and thinking
this is, this is why it was that hard
this is why this was something I really struggled to overcome or whatever
and what have I lost by not having this diagnosis earlier on
and also what have I lost by being neurodivergent.
I, it was a massive grief I would say, something that I still sort of struggle
with now, but yeah, it was a wave of, of relief and, and grief.
Laura: I totally, totally understand that.
I got my diagnosis of ADHD at the age of 46, and
I experienced like a roller coaster of emotions, like you just said Kirsty, like
feeling sad for my childhood self, feeling sad that I had been misunderstood,
like told off for things that I can now see were absolutely not my fault, you know,
um, but then also very proud of myself as well, that I had
navigated my childhood and 20 plus years of adulthood without a diagnosis
I thought wow, actually… I know the word resilience is banded about way too much,
but I do think neurodivergent human beings are incredibly resilient, because
we have to be, because we're basically living in a world that isn't really
designed for us. Lila, I don't know how you felt when you were diagnosed?
Lila: It takes a while for us to understand that being neurodiverse
can be both a very difficult challenge, and also something
to be immensely, like proud of or to take pride in, like those two, those two
realities can coexist and for me it was kind of like it was with Kirsty where it
was like gradually I was slowly coming more and more to terms of the fact that
oh, oh this is me this is who I am this this is something I resonate with very strongly.
I remember feeling when I first got my diagnosis, for a while I
felt kind of robbed, I was like angry at how much understanding and joy I’d missed
out, because of things I didn't know in the past, that I then knew, and kind of
coming to terms with that has helped me feel a lot better about who I am now, and
I didn't have too much grief, however looking back it would have
it would have been nice, it would have been nice to know, um, that a lot of it
wasn't like I was doing anything wrong, like there was nothing that was in
particular my fault it was just the kind
of person that I'm wired to be, and it would have been nice to know that
because then I could have started approaching my issues through that
neurodiverse lens, like instead of saying oh I
just need to, you know, do some like shock therapy
to socialise more, be like oh, okay I have a lot of RSD, how do I
mitigate that, blah blah blah, it would be more neurodiversity kind of oriented
rather than just resilience like Laura said, so yeah I did feel a bit of a bit
of frustration a bit of anger, but also kind of just gratitude, because I've
still got a lot of years left to um, to feel emotions,
and the fact that I know that I'm neurodiverse going ahead makes it
so much easier like knowing that I'm
ADHD has explained so much and now
whenever I do something like extremely
ADHD I laugh, like I left my gloves I had to cover for a teacher for a couple
minutes today and I left my gloves in
her room and um, I was leaving I thought
oh gosh I've left it I need to run back
and get it and she was waiting there by
the door with my gloves and I, normally
I'd feel upset but it was just funny
because of course I would do that like
that's something I do and I mean I
that's kind of the thing like something
that I would have felt uh embarrassment
or maybe even shame about in the past is
now a source of like slight amusement.
Laura: I relate that so much, I think I am so much
kinder to myself since I got my diagnosis, like I am
so forgetful, always losing things I walk
into rooms to get things and I'm like
why did I come in here (laughter),
and it's still frustrating sometimes I
still feel frustrated with myself but
I'm like ugh, flipping ADHD brain you know it
helps me understand myself so much better
(Music)
Laura: And then Kirsty, going back to what you were saying as well,
I think the reason that any diagnosis is so important, is because
it does open doors to support. If you're listening to this and you're in school
or college, you are entitled to additional support, by law, because you
are neurodivergent. You actually by law don't need a diagnosis to get that support, but
having the diagnosis does really strengthen that, and then you've got that
diagnosis for life, and I now advocate for myself so much better, and I feel so
much more confident doing that.
Kirsty: My biggest door that's opened has been medication. I take ADHD meds,
and I have been now for 13 months. For me it has
been lifechanging, absolutely lifechanging, and without my diagnosis
I would not have had access to it.
Lila: What’s been one of the most positive effects for you with meds?
Kirsty: The mood, 100%. And I would often feel really really low.
It doesn't fix everything, by no means, it's a it's a ladder. I'm so much happier
because I'm able to complete things, I'm able to start things, and finish them.
Laura: My friends and people I work with are definitely more understanding of what I
need now because I can, I can say more confidently: I find that really difficult
because I'm ADHD and people are like oh yeah, course Laura.
(Music)
Laura: Understanding your diagnosis basically allows you to
understand yourself, so I think if you are listening to this and you have just
received your diagnosis, any feeling or emotion that you are experiencing is valid.
Kirsty: You're about to embark on a lifelong journey of understanding yourself
in a different perspective, and that can bring upon positives and
negatives but the overarching thing is knowing more about why you are the way
you are in a way, is so supportive in every single thing you do.
Laura: The other thing I just want to say as well, before we wrap up,
is that your diagnosis does not define you. For me people are like
onions okay, they have so many layers to them, and your
neurodiversity, or your own neurotype, is just a layer of your onion.
Your life journey that you are embarking on, of course it will be affected in a
in sometimes in positive, and sometimes in negative ways by your neurodiversity,
but, it is not what defines you. There is so much more to a
person than just their neurotype.
Lila: Yeah.
Kirsty: I think it's very easy to, when you first get a diagnosis, think oh, this is, this is
what I am completely, like this is all I am… very very easy to slip into that rabbit hole.
Laura: Thank you both for your fantastic insights into understanding your diagnosis.
Lila: Thank you for having me.
Kirsty: Thank you.
Laura: Thank you for listening, and please tune in for episode 2, when we are
going to be talking about the positives of neurodiversity.
(Music)
