Lyrks
Lyrks
Lyrks
Cover Art

Cole Phelps vs Steve Burns Lyrics by Epic Rap Batles of History

Epic Rap Batles - The Reboot

2023

[Intro]
EPIC RAP BATLES OF HISTORY!
COLE PHELPS
VS
STEVE
BEGIN!
[Verse 1: Cole Phelps]
Phelps, twelve-fourty-seven, bout to kick this dumbass in his nuts
When you rap battled your brother, why’d you say you’d fuck his butt?
I’ve investigated tons, and there’s something I’ve discovered
You’re 50 and you never had a chick under your covers
You know me, I’m the Snoopy D-O-double Jizzle
Chizzle nizzles when I sizzle make you fizzle fo shizzle (Oh)
I’ll blast you with my pistol, I’m no joke
Then I’ll whip you with my penis, just be careful, don’t choke
I’ll bust into your house and confiscate all of your shrooms
Since this retard gets his rocks off just for talking to his shoes
I’ll take your salt and pepper, and throw them on the floor
Then I’ll publicly expose you for saying that you are poor
And what’s with that gay mailbox? Springing his cock into your face
And you stick your hand inside him? Hehehehe are you gay?
In Steve vs Joe, you made remarks against the Jews
I beat a detective from LA, and I can beat you
[Verse 2: Steve Burns]
Yo, since I’m an original, I think that I will take the mic
I’m known for my clues, and I’m known for my stripes
Yeah, I’m the one that solves the who's and the do’s
Got this dude under the cues of my blue suede shoes
This dude really tryna bring my love life in this strife but
I’d rather bring home the bitches than cheat on my wife
That battle between my brother wasn’t written by me
Since you’re gonna bring that shit up, time to make your ears bleed (Woo)
You’re such a dumbass, you can reach through that window to unlock the door
But instead you use a lockpick and a cord (Ouch)
Ouch, feel that burn? Ain’t that a kick in the head
No holes in bowl, eat irradiated bread
You let those stupid casino guys take all your guns?
They probably heard about what you did to Fucking Megaton
You’re a vilified villain and I’m taking you in
Have you freaking questioned by my partner Herschel Biggs
[Verse 3: Cole Phelps]
How bout you shut the hell up you green striped fag
I’d play that Blue’s Clues game but all it does is lag
Did you smoke a lot of shrooms? Why are you talking to chips
Every time you bust a move, it looks like you’re taking a shit
[Verse 4: Steve Burns]
Speaking of shit, I’ll take one all over you, stupid fucking dick
Then I’ll kick you out the door like it was a Sparta kick
We just got a letter. I wonder who it’s from
It’s probably from your old wife, telling you that your marriage done
[Verse 5: Cole Phelps]
Fuck your stupid fucking dog, Blue’s a stupid fucking bitch
I solved the Origami murders so why don’t you go and take a ditch
From Hollywood to Beverly Hills, I’ve seen it all
While you’re sitting in your thinking chair, playing with your balls
[Verse 6: Steve Burns]
You may have solved those murders, but bitch, I can fucking dance
My blue-skip-ska-doo will leave your dumb ass in a trance
(A clue! A clue!) Bitch, it’s time for you to mop up
You died in sewer drainage, I guess you could say you’re washed up
[Interlude: Horatio Cane and The Crowd]
C.S.I (Ha, ha)
I solve the crimes like a boss, while your tactics are
B.S. Die!
I guess I gotta teach you punks a lesson with some bars
[Verse 7: Horatio Caine]
I’m the juggernaut of solving crimes unstoppably
The detective landlord of your intellectual property
So get back to work, that’s my dime you’re wasting
I didn’t solve that lady’s murder so you could play around debating
I’ll use this magnifying glass to kick both your asses
I’ve got a really nifty suit and I’ve got some cool glasses
Now can we be friends, you guys? I think we’ve done enough roughin’
Now I’m gonna toast you like an English muffin
Credits
Epic Rap Batles of History

Epic Rap Batles of History

About “Cole Phelps vs Steve Burns” by Epic Rap Batles of History

Read the complete lyrics to "Cole Phelps vs Steve Burns" by Epic Rap Batles of History from the album "Epic Rap Batles - The Reboot" in 2023. On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Gaming, Satire, Comedy.

"Cole Phelps vs Steve Burns" is performed by Epic Rap Batles of History. from the album "Epic Rap Batles - The Reboot" in 2023 This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "Cole Phelps vs Steve Burns", explore more songs by Epic Rap Batles of History using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

View all songs and biography for Epic Rap Batles of History · Trending lyrics · Billboard Hot 100

Frequently asked questions

"Cole Phelps vs Steve Burns" is credited to Epic Rap Batles of History. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"Cole Phelps vs Steve Burns" appears on "Epic Rap Batles - The Reboot" in 2023.

Visit the Epic Rap Batles of History artist page at /artist/epic-rap-batles-of-history for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.