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Assister Suicide (Live) Lyrics by Flo & Joan

The Kindness of Stranglers

2018

Cool, so yeah, we're sisters
And people think that because we're sisters
And because we do this & we spend a lot of time together
They think that we're best friends
We're not best friends, but we, as adults
Have come to a place where we can spend
More than like ten minutes in a room together
Without an argument which is pretty good
Although I will say
Rosie's wearing my shirt now
She didn't ask me if she could wear my shirt right now
And there's a stain on it & there wasn't this morning
So we're not best friends but
We have the kind of relationship (we think)
Where if I was ever in a position where
I didn't want to live anymore I would trust Rosie
With the responsibility of taking my life for me
I'm not there now, not right now
But if that ever came I would want you to help me
And vice versa, if ever I wanted to end my life
Nicola would be the first person who I would ask
To help me do that
Thank you
It's something I've thought about quite a lot
If you ever wanted me to take your life
How I would do it, what sort of day we might have
Would I tell anyone? Would I tell Mum?
But I think I've actually come up with a nice situation that I
Would take your life in and I'm gonna sing it to you
So this is, if you so kindly asked, how I would kill you
I'd take you to a quiet spot upon a lake
We'd sit and feed the ducks on the lake
And then I'd take you for a cup of tea & cake
Cause I know you like tea & I know you like cake
We'd sit and talk about your favorite things
Like, chicken nuggets and... other stuff
And while you're not looking
I'd slip Fentanyl in your tea
And then I'd take you home
And let you pass away quietly
Thank you
You liked it?
Very sweet
You thought it was gonna be
Horrible, didn't you?
I did
So how would you do it for me?
Oh, I'ma just throw you down the stairs
I don't think I want to be thrown down the stairs
Well the cool thing about being thrown down the stairs
Is that once the initial push has happened
The choice is no longer yours
I just gave you ducks and tea
Could you not make it nicer?
What like carpeted stairs or a spiral staircase?
No, I don't care how the stair goes
I see people fall down the stairs all the time
And they don't die at the bottom they just injure themselves
Ok I have two follow ups
Firstly, trust that I would push you hard enough
That you officially would be dead at the bottom
Also, the second is like a query I think
Where are you standing that you see
People fall down the stairs all the time?
Cause that's not a... you're the common denominator in that
That's not an everyday thing
I just gave you a nice song with ducks and lakes
Could you not sing something nice in return?
Okay. Yeah, yeah. No, I got it, I got it
I'd take you to your favorite library
The one with all of the stairs
And I'd push ya.... (No!)
I will not ask you to take my life anymore
Cool.... And I might not give you a choice
Umm... Guess what's happening in 295 days?
Christmas!
Credits
Flo & Joan

Flo & Joan

About “Assister Suicide (Live)” by Flo & Joan

Read the complete lyrics to "Assister Suicide (Live)" by Flo & Joan from the album "The Kindness of Stranglers" in 2018. On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Pop.

"Assister Suicide (Live)" is performed by Flo & Joan. from the album "The Kindness of Stranglers" in 2018 This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "Assister Suicide (Live)", explore more songs by Flo & Joan using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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Frequently asked questions

"Assister Suicide (Live)" is credited to Flo & Joan. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"Assister Suicide (Live)" appears on "The Kindness of Stranglers" in 2018.

Visit the Flo & Joan artist page at /artist/flo-and-joan for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.