CODY HACKINS [sung]:
When the moon is bright with a pale, blue light
And trouble is nearby
Only one man fights for what is right:
The Steel Samurai!
And all heroes know when it's time to go
And face their destined fate!
For who should show, but his deadly foe
The Evil Magistrate!
I saw it with my own two eyes, and it was really great!
PHOENIX WRIGHT:
I'm to understand that you're a big Samurai fan
You watch the show every week
Now you have a hand in being a hero to this man
The truth is the only thing I seek
CODY:
With a samurai punch and a samurai slash, that battle had caused a deafening crash!
He dodged a strike with a samurai dash, thе villain paid for his sins!
With a samurai slap and a samurai chop, that samurai pain just never stopped!
Hе came on top while the Magistrate dropped, 'cause the samurai always wins!
MILES EDGEWORTH:
Wright! The truth is, this fragile youth is sure of that ruthless attack!
So, stop pressing him, hoping that he'll crack!
PHOENIX:
I'm trying to keep The Steel Samurai out of jail...
Please, if you could, try to go into more detail
CODY:
What I saw that day was a grim display-
An evil man's demise
(PHOENIX [spoken]: Uh-oh)
And I stood nearby when the Samurai
Shot lasers from his eyes!
(PHOENIX [spoken]: Wait, what?)
And he flew up high, reaching to the sky
A bright metallic sheen!
(PHOENIX [spoken]: Oh, boy...)
The hero chose to strike a pose
And then he flew the scene!
It was just like in episode two-hundred seventeen!
PHOENIX [spoken]:
OBJECTION! Cody, what sort of murderer uses a "samurai slap!?" Or for that matter, shoots lasers from his eyes?
EDGEWORTH:
OBJECTION! Clearly, the witness merely has an active imagination
PHOENIX:
OBJECTION! You know as well as I do that the witness was being vague, Edgeworth. He still hasn't even testified to seeing the finishing stab. And I think I know why...
[sung]
Cody, you have shown you've got a camera of your own
You never miss any shots
If you could show a picture of the killing blow
It could help us connect the dots...
'Cause you keep all pictures in an album titled "Path to Glory."
With the killing blow from every show to tell a hero's story!
And I'll tell you this, something is amiss, for there's no reason or rhyme...
And for what it's worth, no way on Earth did Cody see this crime!
Witness, TESTIFY! This is the last time!
THE JUDGE:
Mr. Wright, what is the meaning of this?
[Simultaneous 1:]
CODY [sung]:
With a samurai kick and a samurai punch
And a samurai triple-suplex-crunch
The Samurai flipped and spun a bunch--
He'd win no matter the cost!
With a samurai chop and a samurai slap
The Magistrate felt a sickening snap
And he was about to take a dirt nap
'Cause the Samurai's never lost!
With a samurai parry and a samurai guard
The Magistrate shivered, all beaten and scarred
The Steel Samurai kicked his butt so hard
It left permanent footprints!
The Samurai said, "Winners don't do drugs!"
As he wiped out waves of the Magistrate's thugs
Up against his power, they were just like bugs
His offense was so intense!
And he did it all while saving a village of nuns
From a hundred-foot monster weighing in at 50 tons
And breath with the heat of a thousand blue suns
And a GUN THAT FIRES SHARKS!
And a mile-high volcano was erupting in the east
And the Samurai plugged it with the 50-ton beast
Then he fed the starving children with the newly-founded feast
And he cleaned our national parks!
With a samurai dodge and a samurai block
And a samurai ultra-tough-headlock
The poor Magistrate could only gawk
He had no help from his friends
With the Samurai Spear gleaming in the sun
His Samurai battle almost done
He had his fun and had finally won
'Cause the Samurai always wins!
[Simultaneous 2:]
PHOENIX:
Please, no more lies
I have tried to use a light touch
I'm trying to preserve the
Show that you love so much
Don't be alarmed, for no
Harm will come to this man
Listen to me, he'll walk free
Thanks to one true fan
Cody, calm down
Take it easy if you know how
Cody, relax
I need facts and I need them now
Please, tell the truth
This is just a fictitious tale--OBJECTION!
I'm trying to keep
The Steel Samurai out of jail
[Simultaneous 3:]
EDGEWORTH:
Wright, you dunce, stop this at once
You're badgering a child--I won't allow it!
Cease these accusations please
This questioning is wild!
Wright, you fool, this kid's in school
You treat him like a thug--have you no mercy?
Stop wasting this courtroom's time
And quit acting so smug
Wright, don't bluff, that's quite enough
You've got nothing to add. OBJECTION!
Take these ramblings elsewhere and
Stop pestering this lad!
[Simultaneous 4:]
WILL POWERS:
I don't mind if I'm jailed downtown
I just don't want to let all the kiddies down
If I go, promise me one thing:
No kids know 'bout this merciless killing...
[Simultaneous 5:]
JUDGE:
Calm yourself, Mr. Wright, I don't want to see a fight!
Please one person at a time, we can figure out this crime!
OVERRULED, OVERRULED! Who do you think you have fooled?
We are done, everyone!
[End simultaneous]
JUDGE [spoken]:
Order, order!
