[excerpt from Perpetual Chess Podcast]
Looking back at who I was when I was younger
My penumbra emblazoning panic by the numbers
Tiny glints of the 90s kids' lives I desecrated
Sicken my stomach and concurrently ameliorate it
See, when I was three, I used to like to fight a lot
The feuds that I incited got the dudes to rise from hiding spots
Igniting knots of patience, driving them crazy till ire unlocked
My grandmother would scold me, so eventually at five I stopped
Becoming more peaceful, astonishing my parents
Examining more people acknowledging my merits
Ascending to the top of the surface from the gutter below
Transforming my personality discovering hope
But no, not everything was under control
That was the time the signs of shyness started to show
Introverted, quiet, a little neurotic
Rarely the first to talk to people, which is ironic
Because I became friends with most of my best friends by talking to them first
It just doesn't make sense. What forced my sixth sense to suddenly get worse?
It's a paradox drastically blown out of proportion, rapidly growing
My conscience constantly condradicts common sense and acts on its own
I guess the reason is I was brought up by two women
So the fact that my dad wasn't in the house living with us was a huge venom
So who then, umm, should I look up to to see how to be a man?
My intuition along with my mother took the command
The softness and kindness made it a bit difficult to get lost in the violence
And as often as I was raging, I couldn't stand to get off and to fight which
Wasn't always the best decision, since a man with an immense ambition
Has to fight, be aggressive when the situation requests infliction
Of damage to the other person deservingly so
Dispersing the turbulent flow, hurting the soul physically, mentally with a merciless blow
Conversely, I didn't want to participate in any fights anymore, which caused a backlash as I finally saw
A fighting-galore-liking frightening swarm coming out from wherever they were hiding before
To make matters worse, these rivulets of fear
Streamed down my spine, whenever I saw those people appear
The emotion wasn't even the slightest bit justified
It was a reflex automatically getting stuck inside
I tried not to make it obvious, but I guess I failed
Because they took advantage as I stood there stressed and pale
They weren't bullying me, but they were sneering at me
And whatever I did to deserve it, it made them really happy
I believe I tried responding back with something offensive
But it only backfired, rendering intent ineffective
Not knowing what to say I tried ignoring the insults
Thinking they'd forget it, but got even more as a result
So it continued this way, until one day
I risked to say something they didn't want to hear to make it history
Unlike the other times, one dude took it to heart
And challenged me to a fight, hoping to rip me apart
The fear in my eyes has spiked and even though I tried to hide it
Wetness of my pants near the crotch dissolved any doubt confirming that I was frightened
But I knew that if I wanted to put an end to his bullying I had no option
But to tussle with Abaffil bludgeoning his skull till he's unconscious despite being bad at boxing
So I punched him in his face with all my might before noticing his red strung out eyes
I quickly beat him in his head and bit his head, and then reflexively ran away from the fight
Later gossip instantly infested little genius heads, and this is what the textbook gibberish suggested:
"Denys toughened up, scuffed his mug, beat Abaffil up in the mud, so Denys isn't to be messed with"
What a load of crap to depict a wimp committing a bolder act in a brave light
I froze so fast I couldn't piss my denims, and when I broke the trap, I escaped like
A Soviet rocket into space after pretty much Luis Suarez'ing his face
As he made his move to Ramos me in place, my acceleration got me lost without a trace
Where's that guy now? Probably serving his prison time or he's dead like Harya
Hopefully not, and he shifted over the plot but sadly not everyone has their Sandor Clegane like Arya
Denys was lucky to grow up in a loving abode and developed his insight
On how to keep his existence civilized with resentment inside, welcome to my Element of Life
