Now imagine a music, dear readers, heavy with cellos at a rapid staccato, cellos held between thighs in a dark room, the little room of Harry's chest, as he walks with his teammates to the opening gate of his first Test of Cribbage. They are a rag-tag group of champions, this bunch, and with Harry, the near-perfect new god, they know they will dominate the day
Harry is a world, laced with rivers of wizardly blood. He is ready
Congratulations on your recent graduation
This’ll be the celebration you deserve after all these years, and we’ll sing:
Congratulations, all the trials and tribulations
Of your private education have yielded a promising career
So good job, and well done
And we’re sure that it’s been fun
But it’s time to settle down now
You gotta crawl once you learn to run
So good job, and thanks a lot
And don’t think of what you’ve lost
Some things you carried with you…
Most things you just forgot
So congratulations, after much deliberation
We’ve approved your application to join the team, and we’ll sing:
Congratulations, now you’ve conquered the temptation
To run away and follow some naive nostalgic dream, so it would seem
So it would seem…
So good job and well done
And we’re sure that it’s been fun
You’ve gotta put all that behind you now
Your fun is over, it’s gone, it’s done
So good job, and way to go
If you have doubts, don’t let ‘em show
Just cherish the years ahead of you
They’ll be gone before you know
But Harry, Harry has gained control and is after that Snitch like a fucking rocket, zip! That Slytherin Seeker has been after it for a while, but I feel bad for him, because he is stupid, and Harry is a rocketized animal who will stop at nothing. Yes, they crash each other as hard as they can as the Snitch leads them straight down, that Snitch leads them down, right down into certain doom! are they going to crash? Yes, they're going to crash, but Harry loves death. He says, 'Bring it on.' He is like a demon, long dead, with nothing left to lose. The weak-ass Slytherin pulls away, but Harry pulls up just in time. He is standing on his broom like it is an extension of his body. He reaches out, almost having the Snitch, but he stumbles and falls!
You attended the right schools and you went to all the right classes
You picked all the right majors, you kissed all the right asses
It was never your intention to be a rebel or a delinquent
And you tried real hard to not be a disappointment to your parents
But sometimes being reasonable is an act of rebellion
And sometimes using your eyes and ears is blasphemy
Sometimes telling the truth is unpatriotic
Sometimes writing a ten-minute song is really pretentious
And day by day, and year by year
You turn into the person that you maybe once feared
And you question your professors, and you question what they’re selling
And you question everything, ‘til you start questioning yourself
That’s how you know it’s already too late, it’s already too late
That’s how you know it’s already too late, it’s already too late
But you’re not ready, you’re not ready, you’re not ready
You’re not ready, you’re not ready, you’re not ready
You get home from work, it’s 2010
You go straight to bed, when you wake up again
It’s 2015, and you have a new house
And you live with a stranger who says she’s your spouse
And next thing you know, it’s 2029
You have a little more money, and a lot less time
And you start to panic- Is this all there is?
You’ve done enough living to have a midlife crisis
‘Til you you go for a drive towards the horizon
‘Til you run out of gas, but you somehow keep driving
‘Cause you’re not ready, you’re not ready, you’re not ready
You’re not ready, you’re not ready, you’re not ready
You’re not ready, you’re not ready, you’re not ready
You’re not ready, you’re not ready, you’re not ready
One hundred thousand points for fucking Gryffindor! The crowd goes absolutely bazonkers! The champions in red and yellow are the victors, and Harry is spent. The crowd is destroying its throats calling Harry's name. Harry feels right with himself. He's down there, a new god who has found a calling. He holds up that Snitch and bellows:
I AM A BEAUTIFUL ANIMAL!
I AM A DESTROYER OF WORLDS!!
I AM HARRY FUCKING POTTER!!!
And, dear readers, at last, the world was quiet
