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NSA Wiretapping Public Service Announcement Lyrics by Trevor Moore

2013

[Trevor]
Hi, I'm Trevor Moore.
Due to the recent revelations that in order to "fight terrorism", the NSA has been using a secret court order to spy on every single Verizon and AT&T customer, Americans have become outraged and concerned about their right to privacy. But along with that concern comes the feeling of hopelessness. I mean, what can we do? Vote in new leaders? Well, the problem is that during an election, each candidate pretends to not be an asshole. Then when they get the job, they reveal they've actually been a complete asshole this entire time. And just look at these people they are going to let us pick from in 2016 - Do you think they are not going to be giant assholes?
No, elections are of no use. The only way to fight back against our country's excessive wiretapping and datamining, is to make it irrelevant. That is why we are launching Operation: Everyone Talk Like A Terrorist All The Time.
If we all openly discussed terrorist's plots in each of our phone conversations, then eavesdropping on those phone conversations becomes pointless. It's simple. We just need to work it into our daily vernacular. For example, instead of saying "I love you" you could describe a terror attack. The larger the scale, the more you love the person.
[Girl]
Hi mom, I just got out of school. Can you pick me up?
[Mom]
Sigh. I'll be there in fifteen minutes. I will use a trap bomb to blow up the Brooklyn Bridge.
[Girl]
I'm mailing anthrax to Piers Morgan.
[Trevor]
Or, nonsense about God's will being great could mean "affirmative", while horseshit about multiculturalism could mean "negative".
[Guy in front of cinema]
Hey man, they have a seven thirty show, do you think you can make it in time?
[Driving guy]
God is merciful and his love is unchanging. Did you already get me a ticket?
[Guy in front of cinema]
Anti-racism is really just good for anti-white. Did you want me to?
[Driving guy]
Those that don't live by God's law deserve death, since I'm kind of tight on time.
[Guy in front of cinema]
Alright, I'm going to set off the pipe bomb at Disneyland.
[Driving guy]
Flying a Cessna into the Sirius tower.
[Trevor]
And those are just a few examples. You can make up your own. Have fun with it! But it's time for us to stand up and protect our rights, because those assholes aren't going to.
I'm going to set off a nuke at the MTV movie awards.
Credits
Trevor Moore

Trevor Moore

About “NSA Wiretapping Public Service Announcement” by Trevor Moore

Read the complete lyrics to "NSA Wiretapping Public Service Announcement" by Trevor Moore in 2013. On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Non-Music, History.

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