Now you all know that gaming is made of companies old and new
So you think you like Nintendo, and maybe Sony too
But what if I was to tell you there's a new system out there
That was founded by a rich young upstart who has a little
Forbes' wealthiest flair...
Have you heard of the All American Console?
The system of the red, white, and blue?
It didn't come from way out East
It's not made in Japan
No, our favorite console is
All American
Now let me take you back to primitive times, 1976
An American man named Bill was living in the greatest country on Earth
"You mean the founder of Microsoft, Bill Gates?"
That's right, that young man changed the world
"He changed the world!"
And Bill said
"So I'm rich from Windows and now I need a new product
Hmm, this gaming stuff seems big
And I, Bill, will make my team go work on this dream
And we'll call it the Xbox"
"Hey, Bill says "Get in the lab and start inventing!" Let's go make him proud!"
"All right! "
"Let's go!"
Microsoft had started their work
Their new system was in talks
And when they were done they knew they'd won from the giant jump in stocks
"Well now I just need some games
To put out for the world to see"
And then appeared an angel
And it was from Bungie
"I am Jason Jones
The All American Game Dev!
I founded Bungie long, long ago
You see the history of my games Marathon, Myth, and all
Now I come to you with Combat Evolved
But remember Bill, don't let anybody touch these games except for us
They are only for us to make
Even if other people ask to develop them for you
Just say no
It will probably piss off all of the fans
Even if we one day abandon this for a new project
This is sort of what we plan on eventually"
Bill accepted Halo, and it filled him up with pride
Then he ran to the shareholders, held up the console and cried
"Hey, Bungie came and gave me a hit as sure as stone
And I've packaged it with the Xbox, and stuck it in every home"
"Wow, so the Xbox is the greatest system ever made
And Halo is the holy grail of gaming?
I sure want a copy!"
Well many people didn't buy the Xbox, sad but true
Well, they thought they had better games to play on their dingy PS2
"Ohh, how horrible!"
But Bill said
"This thing won't die, we've got Xbox Live, and it will be the best!
So remember, you'll see, we've got Halo part 3, feel free, if you'd like to just buy it for me
It's the future of gaming!"
"The future of gaming?"
"Paradise, on a flat screen, it's a hi-def media filled Xbox 360"
Have you heard of the All American Console?
The system of guns, God, and food
Now it's teaming up with Doritos
To feed you now and then
The best thing on the market is
All American
"Wow, how much does it cost?"
The Xbox kept on selling high all through the seventh gen
And then came time to make a new one and do it all again
And even though people wanted their system to play games
Xbox One sure showed 'em
"I actually don't like what the system has become"
"Nintenyearold!"
"Sony shill!"
Now comes the part of our story that gets a little bit sad
When they showed the One's features, people got kinda mad!
Gamers formed up in an angry mob and thought Microsoft was done
"We may have to reassess our policies for the Xbox One
Dear gamers, why don't you always want to be online
Even though you're always on the Internet anyway
And why don't you want to have to install your games
Or be unable to share physical copies
If the soldiers can't play it they can just play the 360"
The CEO Don Mattrick's career died that day for what he believed in
But the Xbox One kept on getting changed
Until it became a sparkling new model that everyone loved
And then, the gamers started pre-ordering
Day after day until one day it released
And now it's the console's job to give you the best gaming experience
IN THE ENTIRE WORLD!
Have you heard of the All American Console?
"The Xbox One is the second coming of Christ!"
It's gonna do something incredible and get back on top again
Cause our favorite console is All American
"And if you pre-order now I'll even give you half off on a Zune!"
That's All American!
