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Statistics (Recorded Live in London) Lyrics by Flo & Joan

Alive on Stage (Recorded Live in London)

2020

So this our wedding song
To help celebrate the happy day
42% of all marriages
End in divorce
And of those 42%
88% expected
They might get divorced
And if you split up
And get married again
There's a 1 in 4 chance
You will have an affair
And if you get married a third time
There's a 90% chance
It will end in divorce
Everyone enjoying the canapes?
I think we can all agree
That the pair of you
The bridesmaids, the groomsmaids
The venue, the menu, and the flowers
All look here today
The average wedding
Costs 30,000 pounds
People are starving
And not just cause
The canapes were late
And it warms our hearts
That you've both captured
Each other's hearts
1 in 3 men will die of heart failure
1 in 3 women will die of heart failure
That's a 1 in 9 chance you'll both die of heart failure
We hope those statistics don't
Make you too sad cause if you are
1 of the 1 in 5 people with clinical depression
You're 35% more susceptible to illness
Which could make you one of the unlucky
3 in 10 housebound where you will watch
90% TV than a person with a job
And those high levels of televisual consumption
Mean you're 26% less likely to be
Satisfied in your love life
So to avoid landing yourself
In the 42% of divorces you might
Try becoming one of the 1 in 5 people
Who go walking for mental wellness
Whilst consequently increasing your chances
Of being one in 45,000 people
Who fall down a hill each year
And that's marriage
8% of the students at the
Dunkin Donuts Training Center
Fail the six week course
But that's for another song
Enjoy your lives together
May they be long and full of love
Let's all raise a glass to the happy two
Before they fly off on their honeymoon
And before you go
You might like to know
That the chances of all of
This happening to you
Is 189,189 in 31,250,000,000
It seems unlikely
But it's not impossible
Congratulations
42% of all marriages end in divorce
But we think that yours will be fine
Credits
Flo & Joan

Flo & Joan

About “Statistics (Recorded Live in London)” by Flo & Joan

Read the complete lyrics to "Statistics (Recorded Live in London)" by Flo & Joan from the album "Alive on Stage (Recorded Live in London)" in 2020. On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Pop, Comedy.

"Statistics (Recorded Live in London)" is performed by Flo & Joan. from the album "Alive on Stage (Recorded Live in London)" in 2020 This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "Statistics (Recorded Live in London)", explore more songs by Flo & Joan using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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Frequently asked questions

"Statistics (Recorded Live in London)" is credited to Flo & Joan. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"Statistics (Recorded Live in London)" appears on "Alive on Stage (Recorded Live in London)" in 2020.

Visit the Flo & Joan artist page at /artist/flo-and-joan for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.