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Christmas Weight Gain Lyrics by Larry the Cable Guy

A Very Larry Christmas

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Boy, I tell you what, I love Christmas. But how come every time I celebrate the birth of the Lord, Jesus, I gotta gain 14 pounds? That's ridiculous! I put my tree up at 210 and I'm fitting to take it down at 224! That's in four days! Four days! Cuatro, for the Spanish folks
Thank God Jesus didn't stretch his birthday celebration another week or I'd be getting training wheels surgically sewed to my dadgum muscular hind end!
It never stops with the food. I done eat pies and cakes and cookies and soups and candies and the neighbor girl. I tell you, thank God Christmas is over. I'd have a heart attack struggling with a tapered ten-pound Christmas turd
I lovе the Lord Jesus and I'm glad he was wrappеd in swaddling clothes and laid in a manger, but Christmas ain't good for my nice, muscular, in-shape ass!
I just wish I had willpower. I surrendered to a frosted gingerbread cookie quicker than a shirtless Mexican hiding in shrubbery after a cop come at him with flashlights. Boy, that's good!
Skinny folks say, 'Just don't eat late.' Well, that's easy for them to say! Good Lord! Skinny folks is always out on dates and stuff. Us fat son of a bitches ain't got nothing to do but sit home on the couch and watch TV, eating Teddy Grahams!
Looks like, for my resolution this year, I'm gonna go on that diet deal again. And if it fails like the last 12, then hello frosted gingerbreads!
Boy, I love food
Git-R-Done
Credits
Larry the Cable Guy

Larry the Cable Guy

About “Christmas Weight Gain” by Larry the Cable Guy

Read the complete lyrics to "Christmas Weight Gain" by Larry the Cable Guy from the album "A Very Larry Christmas". On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Pop.

"Christmas Weight Gain" is performed by Larry the Cable Guy. from the album "A Very Larry Christmas" This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "Christmas Weight Gain", explore more songs by Larry the Cable Guy using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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Frequently asked questions

"Christmas Weight Gain" is credited to Larry the Cable Guy. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"Christmas Weight Gain" appears on "A Very Larry Christmas".

Visit the Larry the Cable Guy artist page at /artist/larry-the-cable-guy for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.