Lyrks
Lyrks
Lyrks
Cover Art

Headless Horseman Lyrics by Mitch Hedberg

Do you believe in Gosh

0

I bought an acre of land in South Dakota, in the badlands, i got me an acre of bad land. That shit is mean. Like it’s land, which means it’s like dirt that’s horizontal. And there was an animal that was walking across it, and since the land was bad, it opened up and swallowed it. That’s fucking dumb. If I had a dollar for everytime I said that, I’d be making money in a very weird way. Yeah. If I was the headless horseman’s horse. Yeah we’re going that way. We’re not headed towards the hay. Imagine if the headless horseman had a headless horse. That would be fucking chaos. We need a head. Well I got a new headless horseman joke. I’d hate to be the headless horseman’s dentist, you wouldn’t make very much money. I love haunted houses. But there’s too many the market’s saturated. I got open up something else like a haunted motorcycle. Yeah I know it ain’t much but sit on it, it will scare the shit out of you. What am I drinking? Nyquill on the rocks, for when you’re feeling sick but sociable. Now is a hippopotamus, or just a really cool opotamus? There is a billboard, in virginia. It says the estimated lotto jackpot, fifty million. See I didn’t know that shit was estimated. It would suck if you won and they were like, yeah we were off by two zeros. I estimate that you’re angry. It would suck if you became a priest, and you had to fight the devil, you’d be like Shit I didn’t believe that was for real.
Credits
Mitch Hedberg

Mitch Hedberg

About “Headless Horseman” by Mitch Hedberg

Read the complete lyrics to "Headless Horseman" by Mitch Hedberg from the album "Do you believe in Gosh". On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Non-Music.

"Headless Horseman" is performed by Mitch Hedberg. from the album "Do you believe in Gosh" This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "Headless Horseman", explore more songs by Mitch Hedberg using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

View all songs and biography for Mitch Hedberg · Trending lyrics · Billboard Hot 100

Frequently asked questions

"Headless Horseman" is credited to Mitch Hedberg. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"Headless Horseman" appears on "Do you believe in Gosh".

Visit the Mitch Hedberg artist page at /artist/mitch-hedberg for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.