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Phil Lyrics by Mitch Hedberg

Do you believe in Gosh

0

That would be cool if you lived with a monster, you would neer get hiccups. Hey this comedy is all part of my get rich slow scheme, and it’s working. People say Mitch, why did you get into comedy? Were you funny, no I was just good at holding ice cream cones. (Man yelling) It’s empty dude. I got something to put in your pipe though. You’re all about refilling shit. Do you work at a gas station? Yeah I’ll take another one of those. What is your name sir? Phil? I was going to say Fill that's perfect. Bill. You’re full of shit. You’re a plumber, let me get to the question then. What do you do for a living. I guess we’re doing this backwards. Alright, what’s the next answer. (yelling) Okay. Which way does shit run. These are too easy many, try to stump me Phil. What’s the next answer. Downhill. Which way is my career going phil. Awee, you fucker. Doctor Shawl makes foot products right. And he’s a doctor which means he went to school for a long time, but it doesn’t take a long time to figure out that stepping on a cushion is more comfortable. That fucker wasted lots of time at school. Cause I would buy that shit from a mr. Shew. Maybe even a senior shew. I got new balance shoes on, but they’re old so I might start falling. I don't know about that shit. Do you know, back in the days of the Guillotine, they never got to the two blade guillotine. One glade comes down and picks you up. The other comes down.
Credits
Mitch Hedberg

Mitch Hedberg

About “Phil” by Mitch Hedberg

Read the complete lyrics to "Phil" by Mitch Hedberg from the album "Do you believe in Gosh". On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Non-Music.

"Phil" is performed by Mitch Hedberg. from the album "Do you believe in Gosh" This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "Phil", explore more songs by Mitch Hedberg using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

View all songs and biography for Mitch Hedberg · Trending lyrics · Billboard Hot 100

Frequently asked questions

"Phil" is credited to Mitch Hedberg. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"Phil" appears on "Do you believe in Gosh".

Visit the Mitch Hedberg artist page at /artist/mitch-hedberg for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.

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