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Restaurants Lyrics by Mitch Hedberg

Do you believe in Gosh

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A burro is a sleeping bag for ground beef. My girlfriend works at hooters in the kitchen. You know Benin Hana, they twist their knifes into fucking cups and shit, get Benin hana to go, he's pointless. Are you sure? Cause if you did I don’t want this. I got a drive thru restaurant next to my house. They say they'll get your food to you in thirty seconds or less. That's too fucking fast. I didn’t think they could top, but they did the last time i was there I saw a dude that looked like me eating what I was going to order. Like you motherfuckers. We ordered a lot of chicken fingers. I was about ten chicken hands. I want a chicken thumb. They must be acclimating. No one ever orders them. I love carrot juice, but I went to this one store, and was like got any carrot juice, and they were like you mean orange? No. well carrots don't have juice and threw me a carrot, twist this. Fuck he's right. What's the orange shit I've been enjoying. One time I was supposed to be on Letterman, it was the same night as Madonna, and Madonna went long so I got bumped, but I went to eat Cantaloupe backstage so it was still cool. It was cut up into bite size pieces. I got paid nine hundred dollars to eat catalope taht's fucking unprecident. I rubbed that shit in my dad's face. You've never been paid that much to eat cantaloupe, you’ve always had to do it for free.
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Mitch Hedberg

Mitch Hedberg

About “Restaurants” by Mitch Hedberg

Read the complete lyrics to "Restaurants" by Mitch Hedberg from the album "Do you believe in Gosh". On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Non-Music.

"Restaurants" is performed by Mitch Hedberg. from the album "Do you believe in Gosh" This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "Restaurants", explore more songs by Mitch Hedberg using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

View all songs and biography for Mitch Hedberg · Trending lyrics · Billboard Hot 100

Frequently asked questions

"Restaurants" is credited to Mitch Hedberg. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"Restaurants" appears on "Do you believe in Gosh".

Visit the Mitch Hedberg artist page at /artist/mitch-hedberg for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.

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