[TRUMP, spoken] Thank you very much. Yes, go ahead
[RANDY, spoken] Thank you. Thank you, Mr. President. I will begin with my most important question: Did you see the Grammy's and, if so, what did you think of Jennifer Lopez's performance?
[TRUMP, spoken] Who?
[Randy, spoken] J. Lo?
[TRUMP, spoken] I don't know her!
[RANDY, spoken] Thank you. And now my follow-up. Will you in fact declare a national emergency at the southern border?
[TRUMP, spoken] I'll sign the final papers as soon as I'm in the Oval Office and we will have a national emergency. And we will then be sued. And they will sue us in the Ninth Circuit, even though it shouldn't be there. And then we will possibly get a bad ruling. And then we'll get another bad ruling. And then we'll end up in the Supreme Court
[RANDY, spoken] I love this song
[TRUMP, spoken] And hopefully we'll get a fair shake. And we'll win in the Supreme Court, just like the ban. They sued us in the Ninth Circuit and we lost. And then we lost in the appellate division. And then we won
[RANDY, spoken] Um, some say that you're just concocting this crisis to get the money for your wall. I mean, it was a wall and then it was a fence? What's it today, some chicken wire and a ADT security decal?
[TRUMP, spoken] No
[Randy, spoken] A couple of doberman pinchers and a sprinkler? Thank you
[TRUMP, spoken] You're fake news
[RANDY, spoken] Some say you're just fear mongering and using inflated statistics to help your own agenda
[TRUMP, spoken] Not too many people are saying that
[RANDY] Some say that you're full of shit and others, well, agree
That you're just fomenting fear and hate with your hyperbole
[TRUMP, spoken] Drugs and gangs and people, it's an invasion
[RANDY] Now push has come to shove
You shut down the gov'
Just to try and get your way
[TRUMP, spoken] I didn't need to do this
[RANDY] Your only interest is
Campaign promises
Can we believe a word you say?
[TRUMP, spoken] No
[RANDY] Gurl
You're at an impasse
Now they're gonna sue your ass
But you just keep pushing these...
[TRUMP, spoken] You don't have a border, you don't have a country
[Chorus]
[RANDY] Border lies
Freaking us out while you dramatize
All the stats you claim you've been shown
Backing your border lies
(Border lies)
Border lies
Great for distracting from Russian ties
More insulting than your skin tone
Talkin' 'bout border lies
(Border lies)
[RANDY, spoken] Sir, you told us that Mexico would reimburse us for the wall. Is it true that you will allow them to pay entirely with 20% off coupons from Bed Bath and Beyond?
[TRUMP, spoken] Where the hell did that come from?
[RANDY, spoken] I have my sources. My mom posted it on Facebook
[RANDY] Well, he's quick to rush to racist, rash decisions on a whim
[TRUMP, spoken] I could do the wall over a longer period of time. I didn't need to do this
[RANDY] But the only national emergency we have is him
[TRUMP, spoken] And, by the way, Trump is crazy!
[RANDY] He dupes and he deceives
But still his base believes
The MAGA mantras he repeats
[TRUMP, spoken] Make America great again
[RANDY] He said that Mexico
Would pay for it, if so
I'd sure like to see receipts
[TRUMP, spoken] No
[RANDY] Gurl
Hit that Adderall
(Take a sniff)
Then go get your border wall
And stop being such a tease
[TRUMP, spoken] We're getting it done
[Chorus]
[RANDY] Border lies
Even Ann Coulter is getting wise
You're just squawking like a parrot
Echhoing border lies
(Border lies)
Border lies
Let's just hope your base doesn't recognize
You're just dangling a carrot
Dressed up in border lies
(Border lies)
[RANDY VOCALIZING]
[RANDY, spoken] Sorry, guess I got a little carried away
[TRUMP, spoken] Uh, let's not talk about it
[RANDY, spoken] Ok. It's too bad Mike Pence isn't here, he loves Madonna
[TRUMP, spoken] I don't know her
