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Essex is Crap Lyrics by Spitting Image

1991

[Verse 1]
Kent is renowned as the Garden of England
In Cornwall there's a lot to be seen
Sussex has wonderful coastal resorts
And Devon has beautiful cream
[Verse 2]
Lancashire has its famous sausages
Yorkshire, the best beer on tap
But the county of Essex is different
Essex is just crap
[Chorus 1]
Essex, Essex - Essex is crap
It's an absolute abomination
Essex - may it fall off the map
It's a boil on the bum of the nation
[Verse 3]
We all cover our houses in stone cladding
Satellite dishes are always in sight
Essex is wherе Steve Davis comes from
Which provеs he's got to be shite
[Verse 4]
Most of our mates here are crooked
People get shot in the street
But apart from that we're the nicest
Bunch you'd wish to meet
[Chorus 2]
Essex, Essex - what is it for?
We can't think of anywhere viler
Essex, where there's mobiles galore
And in every dream home, a rottweiler
[Verse 5]
Where you find the likes of Norman Tebbit go
Where page 3 girls buy their mum a bungalow
Where we get "Rocky V" out on video
Oh yes, that's Essex, man
[Verse 6]
If you think it's really posh to drink Malibu
If you need a calculator to count to two
If you think the stories in the Sunday Sport are true
Then you're an Essex man
Yes, you're an Essex man
[Chorus 3]
Essex - may it go up in smoke
It's about as much fun as a tumour
Essex people can't take a joke
They've absolutely no sense of humour
[Bridge]
Shell suits, blood sports
Union Jack boxer shorts
Lucozade, Daily Star
Garfield stuck in the back of your car
White socks, grey penny loafers
Camcorders, World of Leather Sofas
Dodgy motors, Burgers 'n' Pizza
Karaoke, Timeshare in Ibiza
Coal effect fires, designer beer
Polluted coast, Southend Pier
Are here, here, here - in Essex
Credits
Spitting Image

Spitting Image

About “Essex is Crap” by Spitting Image

Read the complete lyrics to "Essex is Crap" by Spitting Image in 1991. On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Satire, Pop.

"Essex is Crap" is performed by Spitting Image. in 1991 This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "Essex is Crap", explore more songs by Spitting Image using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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"Essex is Crap" is credited to Spitting Image. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

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