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7's and the Museum Lyrics by Steven Wright

I Have a Pony

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Today, I was- No, that wasn't me.
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Yesterday, I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but just for a second.
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I found the way to the eye doctor. I got contacts, but I only need them when I read, so I got flip-ups.
I keep them on my desk right next to my typewriter. I have the oldest typewriter in the world. It types in pencil.
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Under my bed, I have a shoebox full of telephone rings and whenever I get lonely, I open it up just a little bit and I gеt a call. One time, I dropped thе box all over the floor and the phone wouldn't stop ringing, so I had to have it disconnected.
I got another phone, though I didn't have much money, so I had to get an irregular phone. It had no 5 on it.
I was walking down the street and I bumped into a good friend of mine and he said, "How come you never call me anymore?" I said, "I can't call everyone I want. My phone has no 5 on it." He said, "That's really weird."
He said, "How long have you had it?" And I said, "I don't know. My calendar has no 7's."
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I got up the other day and everything in my apartment had been stolen and replaced with an exact replica. Couldn't believe it.
I called my friend and I said, "Come here. Look at this stuff! It's all an exact replica. What do you think?"
He said, "Do I know you?"
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It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it.
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Just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed-reading accident. I hit a bookmark. Flew across the room.
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I've been doing a lot of painting lately. Abstract painting. Extremely abstract. No brush, no canvas. I just think about it.
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One time, I went to a museum where all the work in the museum was done by children. They had all the paintings up on refrigerators.
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I also went to a museum where they had all the heads and arms from the statues that are in all the other museums.
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I left there and I was walking down the street. I saw a man who had wooden legs and real feet.
He asked me if I knew what time it is and I said, "Yes, but not right now."
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I like my dental hygienist. I think she's very pretty. So whenever I go to have my teeth cleaned, while I'm in the waiting room, I eat an entire box of Oreo cookies.
Sometimes, they have to cancel all the rest of the appointments.
Credits
Steven Wright

Steven Wright

About “7's and the Museum” by Steven Wright

Read the complete lyrics to "7's and the Museum" by Steven Wright from the album "I Have a Pony ". On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Non-Music, Comedy.

"7's and the Museum" is performed by Steven Wright. from the album "I Have a Pony " This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "7's and the Museum", explore more songs by Steven Wright using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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Frequently asked questions

"7's and the Museum" is credited to Steven Wright. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"7's and the Museum" appears on "I Have a Pony ".

Visit the Steven Wright artist page at /artist/steven-wright for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.