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Babies and Skiing Lyrics by Steven Wright

I Have a Pony

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One night, I couldn't sleep, so I got up.
I got hungry, so I went down to the store that I know is open 24 hours and when I got there, there was a guy outside locking it up.
He said, "Sorry. We're closed."
I said, "What do you mean, 'you're closed'? The sign says 'Open 24 Hours'."
And he said, "Not in a row."
---
Last night, I had a dream that all the babies prevented by the pill showed up.
They were mad.
Angry babies, all over the place.
I was cesarean-born, but you can't really tell.
Although, whenever I leave the house, I go out through the window.
---
Years ago, I was skiing in England.
It was a rare package deal. Two weeks in England, one night in Connecticut, two weeks in England.
And I said, "Yeah, I'll take it."
I got on this chairlift with this guy I didn't know and we went halfway up the mountain without saying a word.
Then, he turned to me and said, "You know, this is the first time I've been skiing in 10 years."
I said, "Yeah? Why'd you take such a long time off?"
He said, "I was in jail." He said, "You wanna know why?"
I said, "No, not really." Then I said, "Alright. Better tell me why."
And he said, "I pushed a total stranger off a Ferris wheel."
I said, "I remember you."
---
Thank you very much. Thanks a lot.
Thanks for coming. I appreciate it.
Credits
Steven Wright

Steven Wright

About “Babies and Skiing” by Steven Wright

Read the complete lyrics to "Babies and Skiing" by Steven Wright from the album "I Have a Pony ". On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Non-Music, Comedy.

"Babies and Skiing" is performed by Steven Wright. from the album "I Have a Pony " This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "Babies and Skiing", explore more songs by Steven Wright using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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Frequently asked questions

"Babies and Skiing" is credited to Steven Wright. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"Babies and Skiing" appears on "I Have a Pony ".

Visit the Steven Wright artist page at /artist/steven-wright for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.