[Intro: samples, Mustard]
So you’re watching a movie
And suddenly you see some great misfortune come to
Of all formers of entertainers, a mime
And sure enough, Hollywood had a strange dislike of them
To the twisted extend that the display, or reference, at least
Something horrible coming to them
The ultimate question you gotta wonder is, why?
Why does Hollywood treat mimes so horribly?
Certainly a mime is not that awful
Does anyone outside the world of movies actually hate mimes?
Yeah!
[Verse 1: Mustard]
I'm headed to the cinema late one night
Because the city's empty, no mimes in sight
No silent men in black and white
And that means no mimes to fight
I look up at the list of what's playing on the marquee
“Bip the Clown,” that sounds like a must-see
I'd love watching the adventures of a clown
And maybe he'll find some mimes to beat down
Got my ticket, what'd I have to pay?
Nothing, I plucked it when the man looked away
I slip into the cinema and slide into a seat
It's time, the lights dim. "Start the movie!"
[Interlude: Mustard]
Wait a minute
What?
[Verse 2: Mustard]
I made a mistake, this is not the show I want
The film's subtitle fades in, in a giant font
"The life of a mime named Bip the Clown"
The audience applauds, but it doesn't make a sound
A mime? That's what this flick's about?
I dash to the back, 'cause I gotta get out
I wanna escape, but I know it's too late
My fate, locked in by an invisible gate. No!
[Chorus: Mustard, Stir]
Even if it makes you think that I’m evil, I just gotta say it (Oh)
If they made a movie on being a mime, we’d all hate it (Ooh)
They don’t even talk! What would be the plot?
A movie about being a mime would be a flop (Oh)
(Mimes) So I just gotta say it (Ooh)
If they made a movie on being a mime, you know we’d hate it
[Post-Chorus 1: Schmeev]
Too much stuff about mimes
It's a little known fact, but clowns really hate mimes
Most normal people don't know this
But Insane Clown Posse fans or 'Juggaloes'
(as they like to be called)
Keep this little-known code close to their heart
And when their favorite band doesn't shut up about it
How can you not remember it?
[Verse 3: Stir]
Think you like movies? Well these are the worst ones
Just push play, and that's when the mime comes
Face painted all white, not a word from his mouth
Does anybody know what that's all about?
Any time I see a mime, even on-screen
It makes me want to say something obscene
Clowns hate mimes, like it's part of our DNA
When a mime's on my TV, I’m not okay (I promise)
Go on the internet, check IMDb
Lowest-ranking all-time, know what I see?
Every single mime film, bottom of the list
But mimes keep making movies, that's why I'm pissed
[Interlude: samples]
And today we’re counting down our picks
For the top ten worst movies of all time
There’s no excuse for these flicks
Almost universally described as terrible
[Verse 4: Stir]
I remember way back, I was in school
Teacher played a movie for us, everybody boo'd
Because this one wasn't like any of the rest
Called "BECOME A MIME IN 30 DAYS OR LESS"
A mime? That's what it’s about?
I dash to the front, 'cause I gotta get out
I wanna escape, but I'm told it's a grade
My fate, sit here and watch a show that I hate. No!
[Chorus: Mustard, Stir]
Even if it makes you think that I’m evil, I just gotta say it (Oh)
If they made a movie on being a mime, we’d all hate it (Ooh)
They don’t even talk! What would be the plot?
A movie about being a mime would be a flop (Oh)
(Mimes) So I just gotta say it (Ooh)
If they made a movie on being a mime, you know we’d hate it
[Post-Chorus 2: Schmeev]
Too much stuff about mimes
What I'm trying to say is
This album is filled with too many tracks
That just rant on and on about how ICP hates mimes
It's okay for the first couple of songs
But when each one of your 20 songs
Talks about nothing but hating mimes
Then it gets a little tiring
[Chorus: Mustard, Stir]
Even if it makes you think that I’m evil, I just gotta say it (Oh)
If they made a movie on being a mime, we’d all hate it (Ooh)
They don’t even talk! What would be the plot?
A movie about being a mime would be a flop (Oh)
(Mimes) So I just gotta say it (Ooh)
If they made a movie on being a mime, you know we’d hate it
[Bridge: Mustard, Batter, Stir, Stir & B Natural]
(Who would wanna see a mime)
If there was a movie on being a mime
Then everyone would hate it (Oh, beat those mimes)
(Acting in a movie?)
It would be the worst movie of all time
Universally described as terrible (Ooh)
(Who would wanna see a mime)
Mime movie bad, mime movie bad
Mime movie very bad, mime movie bad
(Acting in a movie?)
(Oh, mimes) So I just gotta say it (Ooh)
If they made a movie on being a mime, you know we'd hate it
[Chorus: Mustard, Stir]
(Who would wanna see a mime)
Even if it makes you think that I’m evil, I just gotta say it (Oh)
(Acting in a movie?)
If they made a movie on being a mime, we’d all hate it (Ooh)
(Who would wanna see a mime)
They don’t even talk! What would be the plot?
A movie about being a mime would be a flop (Oh)
(Acting in a movie?)
(Mimes) So I just gotta say it (Ooh)
If they made a movie on being a mime, you know we’d hate it
[Outro: Stir, B Natural, Mustard]
Oh
Mime movie bad, mime movie very bad
Mime movie bad, mime movie very bad
Ooh
See, that- that sucks
Oh
[Skit: samples]
Mimes aren’t entertaining
If it was the I-M-P, if it was run by mimes
If it was a mime group
Think of that
It’d be thirty minutes of God damn silence
You’d hear nothing
You’d put the CD in, and it’d be nothing but silence
