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Big Menu Lyrics by Sam Kinison

Louder Than Hell

0

I can't handle the gay life, folks. I'm sorry. It just... doesn't make a lot of sense to me, you know? I don't wanna put it down [makes strange noise], but, uh... You know, I think gays have had enough fun poked at 'em [makes another strange noise]. *laughs*

I just... How does a guy look at another guy's hairy ass... and find love? How does that work, huh? [makes yet another strange noise]

I don't know. Maybe it's me. They say every man has a homosexual fantasy. So I'm sitting around the house one day... *laughs* I'm going over my fantasies, 'cause if there's one in there, I WANT IT OUT!

And then I realized there's no way I could have a homosexual fantasy. Not after Rock Hudson, man. When this guy fucking died, he nipped that shit in the butt for me, I tell you that. Oh yeah, man. I felt sorry for Rock. Jesus. You know this guy was on his deathbed going...

'It was that last fucking dick... God DAMN it, why did I suck it? Why did I SUCK IT!? I WAS AHEAD OF THE GAME, MISTER! Mary has a dick, [???], dick dick dick, suck suck suck, dick dick dick, suck suck suck... Never had a problem! It was that LAST GOD DAMNED DICK! OH OOOOHHHH!'

Rock Hudson tells his own story, his own words! 'I was addicted to dick! I was ADDICTED TO DICK!'

I might be a little jealous. I'm a little overweight, but, uh... I guess if you're gay, you probably lose a lot of weight, folks. 'cause who the fuck wants to eat after you've had a DICK IN YOUR MOUTH ALL DAY!? [makes gagging sound] 'MORE PIZZA? HOW ABOUT SOME BREAD PUDDING?'

Half the crowd's laughing, the other half's going, 'What kind of jokes are these? My God, what did we pay $12 to listen to?' [roars] *laughs* Ah, just a comic, folks. They're regular jokes. They're not gonna hurt you. They're just regular jokes.

Huh? [audience member: 'Speak up, man!']

Well, that's what your mom told me when I was leaving her house, but I couldn't hear her too well. I tried to understand her, you know, but... she had my sperm gurgling in her throat. She said, [gurgling] 'Sam, Sam, when you're doing the show, be sure to speak up! And tell my retarded son not to fuck with your act!' You may not recognize her when you get home. I shaved her back. Still wanna HELP OUT, HUH!? *laughs*

Hey, I'm just in that fucking mood, man. I'm sorry.
Credits
Sam Kinison

Sam Kinison

About “Big Menu” by Sam Kinison

Read the complete lyrics to "Big Menu" by Sam Kinison from the album "Louder Than Hell". On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Non-Music.

"Big Menu" is performed by Sam Kinison. from the album "Louder Than Hell" This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "Big Menu", explore more songs by Sam Kinison using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

View all songs and biography for Sam Kinison · Trending lyrics · Billboard Hot 100

Frequently asked questions

"Big Menu" is credited to Sam Kinison. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"Big Menu" appears on "Louder Than Hell".

Visit the Sam Kinison artist page at /artist/sam-kinison for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.

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