[Sammy J]
When I was twelve years old
I bought myself a radio from Dick Smith Electronics
(Dick)
I took it home
(Took it home)
Ran a bath
(Ran a bath)
Then I flicked the switch to triple j!
And as I lay in the water
Splishin' and a-splashin' around
To the sound
Of the sweet underground
Aussie music
(Aussie music)
Aussie music
(Ossie Ostrich)
The music took control
I began to rock and roll
[Sammy J and Randy]
And I was dancin' in the bath
Time is for music
Is the soundtrack of my life
Is now complete
And I am
Kickin' out my feet
To the music
(Aussie music)
Aussie music
(Aussie Home Loans)
I kick the radio into the water
(Sammy J is electrocuted)
[Triple-O Operator]
Triple-O, what's your emеrgency?
[Sammy J's Mother]
My son Sammy J is unconscious in the bath!
[Triple-O Operator]
Do you know what happenеd?
[Sammy J's Mother]
I think he was electrocuted!
[Triple-O Operator]
Is he breathing?
[Sammy J's Mother]
I don't know, I'll check!
[Triple-O Operator]
Oh no, don't touch him!!
(Sammy J's mother is electrocuted)
[Sammy J]
Now I'm lying in a hospital bed
And my mother is dead
And the doctor has said I'm in a coma
(In a coma)
In a coma
(My Sharona)
And he's talking to my daddy
And he's breaking the news
He says:
[Doctor]
Mr. J, during the electrocution, it appears your son injested a great deal of Australian music into his bloodstream
[Sammy J's Dad]
Oh God, Doctor! Is there anything we can do?!
[Doctor]
There is one thing we could try, but-
[Sammy J's Dad]
But what, dammit?!
[Doctor]
It's a little unconventional!
[Sammy J's Dad]
(gasps)
You don't mean-
[Doctor]
Yes!
We're gonna have to hook your son up to a Marshall amplifier
Put a mike into his asshole
And then set his balls on fire
And invite a whole selection
Of Australian music legends
To perform here in his room!
[Narrator]
And so, in a groundbreaking procedure, doctors attempted to resuscitate Sammy J using nothing but the power of Australian music - and, one by one, the Who's Who of the Australian rock industry arrived at the hospital to sing Sammy J back to life!
Paul Kelly started early
Whippin' out the classics
But then Gotye cut him off
And kept singing until Missy Higgins said that
[Missy Higgins]
I can only do two songs
I'm double-parked
And I cannot afford another ticket
Because Bernard Fanning is my passenger!
[Narrator]
And he's looking around for the Hilltop Hoods
But they haven't turned up
So they sent Nikki Webster instead:
[Nikki Webster]
I've been missin'
Your strawberry kisses!
[Narrator]
Then Timmy Rogers came in
And when he started to sing
It nearly brought Sammy back
But then he had a heart attack
[Nurse]
Doctor, he's getting worse!
[Doctor]
It appears the Nikki Webster-to-You Am I transition overwhelmed him!
[Nurse]
What do we do?!
[Doctor]
We need a sedative! Get me 10 DBS of Angus & Julia Stone, stat!
[Angus & Julia Stone]
We came as fast as we could!
We'll inject a little song
Into your big red veins
[Doctor]
It's working! Now take it up a notch!
[The Temper Trap]
(starts singing)
His temperature is high
And we want him to be
[Silverchair]
Wakin' up strong in the morning
On a drip of saline
[Narrator]
Matt Corby's in the corner
On the phone to Sarah Blasko
She rushes in
And she says:
[Sarah Blasko]
Is he awake
Or is he dead?
And who's that dude
With the purple head?
[Randy]
My name's Randy. It's very nice to meet you, Ms. Blasko, I'm a big fan!
[Sammy J]
Randy, this is my flashback
[Randy]
Yeah, I know, Sammy, but I've come back from the future to share some very important information with the doctor, so SHUT UP AND GET BACK IN YOUR COMA!
[Sammy J]
Okay...
[Randy]
Doctor, Sammy J has not purchased a new record since 2001! He'll only respond to the classics! So I brought along some friends...
[Crowded House]
Can we come inside to see how he's feelin'?
Just don't tell the doctor that we're from New Zealand
[Narrator]
(as Cold Chisel sings)
Well, the last breath out of Sammy's almost gone
[Doctor]
Code Blue, nurse, Code Blue!
[Narrator]
(as Cold Chisel sings)
I said, the last breath out of Sammy's almost gone
[Doctor]
Stand back, there are men at work!
[Men at Work]
Is Sammy J still under?
(whistles melody)
Can we wake him from his slumber?
[Narrator]
And oh no
Here comes Peter Garrett!
[Peter Garrett]
I flew straight in from Canberra!
[Doctor]
It's too late, Mr. Garrett... he's gone
[Narrator]
And the entire Australian music industry gathered around Sammy J's deathbed to say their final farewell to the brave little boy that had captured their hearts
[Entire Australian Music Industry]
And we may never meet again
So goodbye, you skinny little bastard
[Doctor]
WAIT! There's one thing left to try! He said he'd never tour again, but he's our last hope!!
NURSE
RELEASE THE FARNSY!!
[Nurse]
But Doctor, his voice isn't what it used to be!
[Doctor]
(points to audience)
Well, we'll have to get all the audience people here to help him out!
[Nurse]
It's Generation Y, they won't know the words!!
[Doctor]
Well, they'll just have to do the Woah Woah bits, they'll be fine!!
[Nurse]
STAND BACK, HE'S COMING, TAKE COVER!!!
[John Farnham]
You're the voice, try and understand it
Make a noise and wake him up!
[Randy]
EVERYBODY!
(Audience joins in: "WOAH WOAH!")
[Randy]
LOUDER!
(Audience joins in: "WOAH WOAH!")
[Nurse]
He's stabilizing!!
[Doctor]
He's gonna be okay!
[Narrator]
And so it was: Thanks to Whispering Jack, Sammy J woke from his coma and partied all night long with the past, present and future of Australian music! And now, as an old man, Sammy J fondly remembers that night - and I'll tell you a little secret: he still listens to triple j in the bath!
[Sammy J and Randy]
Dancin' in the bath
Time is for music
Is the soundtrack of my-
(Sammy J is electrocuted)
Aussie music!
