Name, sex, age, marital status Current address, religion, ethnic background What's a dwelling? Don't ask me! I'm still stuck on question three! Surname? I don't have one! Just put 'purple' Oh Rental status? Month-by-month Occupation? Skinny cunt What? Nothing! What'd you put for 'house description'? Shithole! So it begins When it arrives We gotta justify our lives And face the fact that nothing's changed Since the last time we did this Five years ago Back when we promised that we'd Get our shit together So in five years time we wouldn't feel like Total fucking failures But in five years we've done fuck-all But lament the fact that we've done fucking nothing with our lives And then they fucking make us write it down When the census comes to town! Name, sex, age, marital status Current address, religion, ethnic background Name? Randy Sex? Male Age? Thirty five Marital status? Recently divorced Current address? Ricket's Lane Religion? Pass Ethnic background? Haberdashery Name? Sammy Sex? Male Age? Twen'y nine Marital status? Stalker Current address? Ricket's Lane Religion? Jedi Ethnic background? Summer babe! What do I put? What do I write? I've got my job it's going nowhere- Did I drop the ball? [?] And I still can't make it work I'm still a virgin I'm still a jerk How do you paint a pretty picture When your brush is broken and your palette's full of shit? Name, sex, age, marital status Current address, religion, ethnic background Superannuation Occupation Getting further education Origin [?] gender orientation Network Date of birth Language spoken at home Anglaise! Income Health plan TV license Broadband access Method of sewerage Landline Livestock [?] Windows Livestock? Livestock! Livestock? Yeah, livestock! Kids Tax Pets Beds Bikes Car Doors Rooves Yard Bills Gas Former employer Bank Shed School Food Pool Next of kin! I never knew my father! He died in a plane crash September '11, 2001 It was in New Zealand Didn't make the papers I never knew my mother! She left me in a basket! On a doorstep On a cold night Then she picked me up the next day What? It was a playdate With a neighbour Randy? We ate chicken twisties My dad died I had a very happy childhood You were listening? Now back to the census For fuck's sake! Name? (Who?) Sex? (Why?) Age? (What for?) Marital status? (Who am I?) Current address? (Where?) Religion? (Alabama!) How come this is so degrading? It seems senseless that they send the census to us Since the census can see through us With statistical sixth sense We tick the boxes Cross the 'i's Collecting data from our lives And the survey says... *ding* We're fucked What do I put? What do I write? I've got my job; it's going nowhere- Did I drop the ball? [?] It's wrapped around my scrotum Pushing me down, dragging me down And [?] the indignity [?] And we normally don't mind it We just hate to be reminded By the answers that our pens are putting down You try to hide it But there's no way to disguise your shitty life When the census comes to town!
Read the complete lyrics to "Census" by Sammy J & Randy from the album "Sammy J & Randy’s Difficult First Album". On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Comedy, Pop.
"Census" is performed by Sammy J & Randy. from the album "Sammy J & Randy’s Difficult First Album" This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL.
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"Census" is credited to Sammy J & Randy. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.
"Census" appears on "Sammy J & Randy’s Difficult First Album".
Visit the Sammy J & Randy artist page at /artist/sammy-j-and-randy for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.
