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Santa Claus is On The Dole (12 inch Extended Mix) Lyrics by Spitting Image

1986

[Verse 1: Singer]
Snow is lying on the ground
And in the air the sleighbells sound
The frosty-patterned window-pane:
It's British summertime again (No it's not, it's Christmas!)
Yes, Christmas, and all children wait
For hoofbeats on the roof
But this year's stockings won't be filled
There's been a mighty goof
Yes, this year there's no peace on Earth
Nor food and gifts abundant
For Father Christmas has been sacked
And his gnomes are all redundant
[Chorus 1: Singer, Santa Claus]
Santa Claus is on the dole
Oh, I'm UB40!
His reindeers have been sold for glue
You might as well be naughty!
Santa Claus is on the dole
Finis! Kaput! It's curtains!
The magic sleigh's been repossessed
The suit's gone back to Burton's
[Verse 2: Singer, Santa Claus]
His elfin helper's topped himself
Oh, how will I survive?
The grotto rent's three months behind
And my giro's not arrived
He's too old to be re-employed
I've lost my little earner
The igloo heating's been cut off
I'll die of hypothermia! (Oh, oh, oh!)
[Chorus 2: Singer, Santa Claus]
Santa Claus is on the dole
He's lost his money spinner
Real fairy cake and Rudolph steak
Will be my Christmas dinner!
Santa Claus is on the dole
Yes, I've been undercharging
Giving all the gifts for free
Destroyed my profit margin
[Bridge, spoken: Singers, Santa Claus]
Silent night, holy night
All is calm, all is bright (No, stop that!)
We wish you a Merry Christmas, we wish you a Merry Christmas (Oh, you can't be serious.)
We wish you a Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year! (Did you hear that, Rudolph?)
[Verse 3: Singer, Santa Claus]
He's been to several interviews
But he got the same reply:
'You've got no GCEs, old lad
You're worse than Princess Di'
He's got a business partner now
Jack Frost agreed to risk it
They bought four tons of chocolate
And we're flogging real penguin biscuits; they're jolly nice
[Chorus 3: Singer, Santa Claus]
Santa Claus is on the dole
The DHSS sneer:
'He's overpaid; you see, according to our records
He only worked a single day each year'
Santa Claus is on the dole
And things don't look too handsome
His company is being probed by TV's
Esther Rantzen!
[Verse 4]
But you can help old Santa, kids
And make my sleighbells jingle
Throw a strop with Mum and Dad
Until they buy this single!
[Outro: Singer, Santa Claus]
Santa Claus is on the dole
Oh, ho, ho-ho ho-ho, I'm UB40, he-ha ho ho ho!
Santa Claus is on the dole
So you might as well be naughty, oh-ho, ho, ho, ho!
Santa Claus is on the dole
Finis! Kaput! It's curtains!
Santa Claus is on the dole
The suit's gone back to Burton's! (And it’s jolly cold!)
Santa Claus is on the dole
(But never mind! Merry Christmas everybody!)
Santa Claus is on the dole
(Happy Christmas, boys and girls! Stop that, Rudolph!)
Santa Claus is on the dole
(Put that penguin down! No, not in the Christmas tree!)
Santa Claus is on the dole
(Stupid reindeer! Why are you fairies still here?)
Santa Claus is on the dole
(Haven't you got a gnome to go to?)
Santa Claus is on the dole
(Ha ha ha ha! A "gnome" to go to! You get it?)
Santa Claus is on the dole
(Easy there, Rudolph!)
Credits
Spitting Image

Spitting Image

About “Santa Claus is On The Dole (12 inch Extended Mix)” by Spitting Image

Read the complete lyrics to "Santa Claus is On The Dole (12 inch Extended Mix)" by Spitting Image in 1986. On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Pop.

"Santa Claus is On The Dole (12 inch Extended Mix)" is performed by Spitting Image. in 1986 This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "Santa Claus is On The Dole (12 inch Extended Mix)", explore more songs by Spitting Image using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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"Santa Claus is On The Dole (12 inch Extended Mix)" is credited to Spitting Image. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

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