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Cover Art

Introduction Lyrics by Steven Wright

I Have a Pony

0

[applause]

[announcer]
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Please welcome, from Boston, Massachusetts, Steven Wright.

[applause]

[Steven Wright]
Thanks.

I used to be a parking attendant in Boston at Logan Airport. I'd park jets. They let me go, though, 'cause I kept locking the keys in them. One day, I was on an 86-foot stepladder trying to get in the window with a coat hanger.

I was arrested today for scalping low numbers at the deli. Sold a #3 for 28 bucks.

I was once walking through the forest alone and a tree fell right in front of me... and I didn't hеar it.

I used to be a narrator for bad mimes.

I livе in a house that's on the median strip of a highway. I mean, nice, grassy area. I like it. The only thing I don't like about it is when I leave my driveway, I have to be going 60 miles an hour.

I have a microwave fireplace. Can lay down in front of the fire for the evening in eight minutes.

Well, you can't have everything. Where would you put it?

If sometimes you can't hear me, it's 'cause sometimes I'm in parentheses.

Are there any questions?

I'm feeling kinda hyper.

About four years ago, I was- No, it was yesterday.

Went to the hardware store. I bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house. I also bought some batteries, but they weren't included. So I had to buy 'em again. I had trouble going home from there 'cause I parked my car in a tow-away zone. When I came back, the entire area was gone.

One time, the police stopped me for speeding and they said, "Don't you know the speed limit is 55 miles an hour?" I said, "Yeah, I know, but I wasn't gonna be out that long."
Credits
Steven Wright

Steven Wright

About “Introduction” by Steven Wright

Read the complete lyrics to "Introduction" by Steven Wright from the album "I Have a Pony ". On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Non-Music, Comedy.

"Introduction" is performed by Steven Wright. from the album "I Have a Pony " This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "Introduction", explore more songs by Steven Wright using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

View all songs and biography for Steven Wright · Trending lyrics · Billboard Hot 100

Frequently asked questions

"Introduction" is credited to Steven Wright. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"Introduction" appears on "I Have a Pony ".

Visit the Steven Wright artist page at /artist/steven-wright for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.

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