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Monopoly Lyrics by Steven Wright

I Still Have a Pony

0

I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly

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I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography

When it comes out, I'm gonna sue myself

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24-hour banking?

I don't have time for that

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A friend of mine has a trophy wife, but apparently it wasn't first place

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I'm exhausted from trying to believe unbelievable things

All my friends tell me stories and then at the end, they say, "Isn't that unbelievable?" And I say, "I guess so." Then I try to believe it. Then I'm exhaustеd

And I have to be asleep by one in thе morning 'cause my dreams are gonna start whether I'm sleeping or not. Which can make for some pretty strange conversation if I'm still awake

"I thought those were your rickshaws."

What the hell are you talking about?

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When I was in high school, I worked in a pet store and they fired me 'cause, uh, what happened was, uh... they had three snakes in there and, uh... one day, I braided them

Tried to pass it off as one snake with three heads

"Oh, yes. It's very rare. It's from Connecticut."

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I asked my girlfriend if she ever had sex with a woman and she said no and I said, "You should try it. It's fun."

And she did. Now she's gone

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You never see advertisements for string

They make string, but they never advertise

If I ever did a commercial, it would be for string

"Hi! If you need to get some string, get this string. It's the greatest string in the world. It's almost rope. But it's not. It's string. And you can cut it up into different lengths and tie stuff up with it and stuff. I don't know what you're gonna do with it. Just get it."

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Yesterday, I returned a movie

The people at the theater were pissed

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So I rented a movie and I put it in the DVD player and before the movie starts it says, uh, "This film has been modified to fit your television."

Can you imagine if it wasn't?

All you'd see is, like, a knuckle
Credits
Steven Wright

Steven Wright

About “Monopoly” by Steven Wright

Read the complete lyrics to "Monopoly" by Steven Wright from the album "I Still Have a Pony". On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Pop.

"Monopoly" is performed by Steven Wright. from the album "I Still Have a Pony" This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "Monopoly", explore more songs by Steven Wright using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

View all songs and biography for Steven Wright · Trending lyrics · Billboard Hot 100

Frequently asked questions

"Monopoly" is credited to Steven Wright. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"Monopoly" appears on "I Still Have a Pony".

Visit the Steven Wright artist page at /artist/steven-wright for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.

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