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Water Lyrics by Steven Wright

I Have a Pony

0

I got up this morning. I couldn't find my socks, so I called information. I said, "Hello, information?" She said, "Yes?" I said, "I can't find my socks." She said, "They're behind the couch." And they were.

I'm tired of calling up the movies and listening to that recording of what's playing, so I bought the album.

Last time I went to the movies, I was thrown out for bringing my own food in. My argument was, "The concession stand prices are outrageous! Besides, I haven't had a barbecue in a long time."

Went to the [???], "Adults, $5; children, $2.50". I said, "Alright. Give me two boys and a girl."

One time, I went to the drive-in in a cab. Movie cost me $95.

I went in to a place to eat. It said, "Breakfast any time." So I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.

One time, right in the middle of a job interview, I took out a book and I started reading. The guy said, "What the hell are you doing?" I said, "Let me ask you one question. If you were in a vehicle and you were traveling at the speed of light and then you turned your lights on, would they do anything?" He said, "I don't know." I said, "Forget it then. I don't wanna work for you."

Every night, I go home and I stare at my rug and I try to move it using telekinesis. Been doing that every night for eight years. The rug hasn't moved an inch. The rest of the house is gone.

A while ago, I was in Las Vegas. I was at the roulette table having a furious argument over what I considered an odd number.

That's pretty funny.

I bought some powdered water, but I don't know what to add.

I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now, he's gone.
Credits
Steven Wright

Steven Wright

About “Water” by Steven Wright

Read the complete lyrics to "Water" by Steven Wright from the album "I Have a Pony ". On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Non-Music, Comedy.

"Water" is performed by Steven Wright. from the album "I Have a Pony " This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "Water", explore more songs by Steven Wright using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

View all songs and biography for Steven Wright · Trending lyrics · Billboard Hot 100

Frequently asked questions

"Water" is credited to Steven Wright. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"Water" appears on "I Have a Pony ".

Visit the Steven Wright artist page at /artist/steven-wright for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.

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