[BOTH] Let's take it back to 2004 [RANDY] I was drinking too much [SAMMY J] I was studying law [RANDY] I was newly divorced and blowing all my cash on sluts [SAMMY J] Hot sluts [RANDY] But I was [BOTH] Dead inside [RANDY] And you [SAMMY J] And me [BOTH] Finished university [RANDY] Couldn't get a job [SAMMY J] And I took it pretty personally [BOTH] Unemployed and sitting on the couch [RANDY] Go Ricky! Go Ricky! [SAMMY J] No job [RANDY] No wife [SAMMY J] No friends [RANDY] No life [SAMMY J] You're drunk [RANDY] You're in financial strife [BOTH] If my life were a movie t'would go straight to DVD [RANDY, spoken] BRRING BRRING! BRRING BRRING! [SAMMY J, spoken] Hello, Sammy J speaking? [RANDY, spoken] Hello Sammy, it's Charlie Bartlan here from Dinkle & Dinkle Entertainment Agency I saw your profile on unemployedlosers.com and I see you're looking for some work? [SAMMY J, spoken] I'll do anything [RANDY, spoken] Can you act? [SAMMY J, spoken] No [RANDY, spoken] Can you dance? [SAMMY J, spoken] No [RANDY, spoken] Can you start tomorrow? [SAMMY J, spoken] Yes [RANDY, spoken] I'm gonna make you a star! [SAMMY J] My name in lights (You'll be a star) My name in Twinkly-dinkly little neon or halogen lights And no more nights left [BOTH] On my own [RANDY] At the bar With a white Russian [SAMMY J] What was her name? [RANDY] Vladimir [SAMMY J] What was she drinking? [RANDY] White Prussians [SAMMY J] That's ironic [RANDY] Why? [SAMMY J] Nevermind [RANDY] I don't even get it [BOTH] But she walked away [RANDY] 'Cause I refused to pay her for a private Dance! [SAMMY J] I'd never danced before [RANDY] Dance! [SAMMY J] Peeled back the curtain and I crossed the floor [RANDY] Dance! [SAMMY J] Love in my eyes, fire in my soul I adjusted my bra and I [BOTH] Grabbed that pole [RANDY] Who's that lady on the stage? [SAMMY J] Who's that purple dude twice my age? [RANDY] Well I'm looking at her [SAMMY J] And he's looking at me [RANDY] I'll say I'll slip y'a little tippy if you sit on my knee [SAMMY J] Well, I needed the cash [RANDY] Yeah, and I needed the love [SAMMY J] So I sat on your knee [RANDY] And I rubbed you [BOTH] Up and down, down, down [RANDY] I felt your balls [SAMMY J] You felt my balls [RANDY] I felt ashamed [SAMMY J] I felt appalled [RANDY] And we [BOTH] Agreed to keep it secret and decided we would just be friends
Read the complete lyrics to "When Sammy Met Randy" by Sammy J & Randy from the album "Sammy J & Randy’s Difficult First Album". On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Comedy, Pop.
"When Sammy Met Randy" is performed by Sammy J & Randy. from the album "Sammy J & Randy’s Difficult First Album" This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL.
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"When Sammy Met Randy" is credited to Sammy J & Randy. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.
"When Sammy Met Randy" appears on "Sammy J & Randy’s Difficult First Album".
Visit the Sammy J & Randy artist page at /artist/sammy-j-and-randy for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.
