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Breast Feeding Lyrics by Dave Attell

Skanks for the Memories

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My cousin had a baby and I was watching her breastfeed for a couple of bucks. And I'll tell you ladies, it's amazing. You've got drinks coming out of you! Fellas, we can't breastfeed, which is probably good. 'cause if we could, we'd spend the whole time squirting each other. Now you know we would.
We'd squirt each other. Tease the cat. Set up tin cans, knock them down. Squirt-fight at the O.K. K-nipple, starring Sam Elliot.
But fellas, we have nipples too! Something should come out of our nip-nips, don't you think-think? Something manly though, like motor oil. Yes! Or little parachute army men. Go! Go! Go! Go! Or beer! No... no. It can't be beer, 'causе then your buddies would want to suck your nipples, wouldn't thеy?
They'd be like, 'Come on, man. Last call on my nipple! I'm trying to drive! I can't have a man sucking my titty when I'm driving! Not with these roads! What if I hit a bump? Now he's sucking my dick! I can't have that!'
You gotta think outside of the box, people! You gotta... think!
Drinking and driving, a lot of people say it's wrong, and I call these people 'the cops'. But you know what? Sometimes you've got no choice. Those kids gotta get to school! Am I right?
Hey, I got pulled over, okay? I was drunk. I think you know you're really drunk when you get pulled over by the Coast Guard. That's when you know.
'This is the Coast Guard! Turn off your windshield wipers! It's not raining. You're in the ocean! Don't swim out of that car!'
Fuck you, sea pig! [makes drowning sounds] Help! Help!
Friendly dolphin. I was saved by a friendly dolphin. He swam me to shore. And just as I got there, he did this.
[makes dolphin sound]
And I had to suck his dolphin dick. I did! 'cause there's no free ride, people. There isn't!
Credits
Dave Attell

Dave Attell

About “Breast Feeding” by Dave Attell

Read the complete lyrics to "Breast Feeding" by Dave Attell from the album "Skanks for the Memories". On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Non-Music.

"Breast Feeding" is performed by Dave Attell. from the album "Skanks for the Memories" This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "Breast Feeding", explore more songs by Dave Attell using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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Frequently asked questions

"Breast Feeding" is credited to Dave Attell. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"Breast Feeding" appears on "Skanks for the Memories".

Visit the Dave Attell artist page at /artist/dave-attell for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.