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Bus Station [Dave Attell] Lyrics by Dave Attell

Skanks for the Memories

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If you're afraid of terrorism, the way to go is by bus.
Have you ever been to a bus station? It’s freaky, huh? People walking around: dirty, filthy, wearing rags, babbling, shaking. No terrorist would ever take out a bus station. They get down, they look around. They're like, 'Damn, somebody’s already done this bitch.'
I'm sitting in the bus station, minding my own business, reading Ta Da! Magazine, a magazine by and for gay magicians. But that's another story.
Guy comes up to me. He's only got one tooth, just one. And he's not even taking good care of it. You figure when you're down to your last tooth, it's your baby in a bit. Not this fucker.
He’s like, ’Hey, man! Can I help you?' I’m like, 'Help me do what? Remember to brush and floss regularly or... give a prison blowjob? What?' He's like, ’No, man. I thought you needed directions.' Hey, you know, if I need directions, I'm not asking a man with one tooth. I'm asking a man with one leg, 'cause he definitely knows the easiest way to get there.
Yup! If there's a shortcut, that one-legged fucker knows where it is. You won't be hopping fences neither. I'm sorry, but I love a one-legged man. That is a good look! So manly!
A one-legged man, he always looks like he's gonna kick your ass, but then he'd fall down and you'd have him. He always looks like he's come a long way to tell you something really important.
'Come over here! Listen! Listen! It's slippery outside. Trust me, I've only got one leg. Now turn me. East!'
That guy's got information! You see a guy with one tooth, what does he know? Nothing!
'Um... taffy is delicious! I love taffy! Hey, can you help me start this apple? Come on, help me out!'
Credits
Dave Attell

Dave Attell

About “Bus Station [Dave Attell]” by Dave Attell

Read the complete lyrics to "Bus Station [Dave Attell]" by Dave Attell from the album "Skanks for the Memories". On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Non-Music.

"Bus Station [Dave Attell]" is performed by Dave Attell. from the album "Skanks for the Memories" This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "Bus Station [Dave Attell]", explore more songs by Dave Attell using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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Frequently asked questions

"Bus Station [Dave Attell]" is credited to Dave Attell. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"Bus Station [Dave Attell]" appears on "Skanks for the Memories".

Visit the Dave Attell artist page at /artist/dave-attell for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.